How to improve your finances with a no-spend month

By Holly Scherer

Do you ever feel like you’re spending more than you need to? Have you ever felt stressed trying to stretch your paycheck through the end of the month? Maybe you feel stuck in a financial mess and you’re not quite sure how to dig your way out. Or perhaps you simply want to build a cushion to help you weather the unexpected. If you can relate to any of these scenarios, keep reading to find out how a no-spend month could help you.

What is a no-spend month?

Eight years ago, my husband, Jeremiah, and I were in the middle of digging our way out of debt. As someone who loves to find new ways to optimize my efforts, I religiously read blogs and listened to podcasts about personal finance. That year I stumbled upon a woman who had just finished a no-spend year. You read that right, she didn’t spend money for an entire year.

I was in awe of her discipline and ingenuity. The amount of money she saved by saying no to spending was enviable. I would have loved to have done the same, but our careers and lifestyle would not allow for such drastic measures at that time.

As the years passed, I’d occasionally see people share plans on social media to do a no-spend month. I was certain we’d be able to not spend for an entire month. But as with many of our best intentions, the years came and went. I never did get around to trying to go an entire month without spending.

That changed at the beginning of this year. A friend announced that she was doing a no-spend month during January and invited others to join her. I wanted to commit so I could enjoy the support and comradery of a team. However, Jer and I already had a trip planned. So as much as I wanted to join the challenge, January and February were not going to work.

As January and February came and went, I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try my first no-spend month when I returned home in March. There was just one thing that stood in my way.

Those of you who are coupled know how challenging it can be to get your significant other on board. Especially for something sure to cause discomfort. After enduring years to frugality to become debt-free, I was certain Jer wouldn’t be on board.

I know what some of you are thinking. Sure, I could go it alone. But it felt pointless since our lives are intertwined. It would be too easy for me to cheat and break the rules.

It turns out I was getting ahead of myself. To my surprise, Jer agreed. His commitment felt half-hearted, however. Whether he would follow through was yet to be seen.

Our first try

I returned home from an extended road trip on March first and our no-spend month started that same day. It obviously wasn’t the best timing. I was gone for almost 40 days which meant I didn’t have a chance to stock up on necessities. But as a Costco shopper and a planner, I thought we could get by with what we had. Not only that but I’m a backpacker. I can survive with very little and know exactly how to make a roll of toilet paper last 10 days. Little did I know how important that was about to be.

The rules were simple. The only thing we were allowed to spend money on was gas and groceries. I could easily have skipped the gas since I drive very little and live within walking distance of any necessities. I could even have skipped the groceries and stocked the freezer with frozen veggies. But I consider the food we eat to be an investment in our health so I was more than willing to stick with our regular monthly grocery budget.

Beyond those two budget categories, we paid our monthly bills. As I eluded, we’ve been completely debt free for close to six years so we had no mortgage, car payments, or student loans. But we still had water, gas, electricity, internet, and trash bills to pay.

How did we do?

For those of you reading this in the future, I have a quick question to jog your memory. Do you recall that time the world as we knew it changed overnight with our first global pandemic? Yeah, that was the month we did our first no-spend month.

On the one hand, it made it easier because we couldn’t buy toilet paper, cleaning products, eat out, or get a haircut even if we wanted to. But as I mentioned earlier, we didn’t have time to prepare so there were some staples we ran out of.

(As I write this I’m daydreaming about the future when I can finally buy a 12-pound bag of Costco’s organic brown rice again.)

All things considered, I’m delighted to say that both Jer and I only had one emergency purchase. Jer bought hair product so he could look good for his Zoom meetings. And I desperately needed new trail runners so I could get outside and enjoy some much needed alone time. I used my REI dividend and didn’t spend actual money on them. Had I not had the dividend, I probably would have waited. But I feel this is an important disclosure.

And my fears about Jer not following through?

It turns out he’s the world’s best team player. He’s incredibly engaged when he feels like we’re working on something together. Which is challenging because I’m much more independent and a bit of a lone wolf. I mention this as something to consider for those of you thinking about doing a no-spend month as a couple. Consider what motivates your partner as you create your plan for success.

What we learned

I am grateful that I finally got around to completing my first no-spend month. The circumstances were weird and unexpected, yet I’d love to do it again. I always enjoy being challenged with a bit of discomfort. That’s where I find the most personal growth.

Here are some other things I learned on our no-spend journey.

1 – How to be open to receive

I wrote a whole post about learning to receive last fall. If you haven’t noticed, people tend to preach, teach, and write about the things they’re working on. And that’s certainly true for me too.

Early on in my life journey, I decided that I was someone who offered help and not someone who needed it. So receiving has always been hard for me.

When everything shut down to slow the spread of COVID-19, a local private yoga instructor started offering free classes via Zoom. Since I try to make yoga a daily practice, I decided to switch things up and give virtual yoga a try.

When I received the email with the link to join the class, I noticed an option to leave a tip at the bottom. I can’t explain how hard it was for me to not tip. I’m the person who usually leaves a 20 percent tip for terrible service because I don’t want to look like a jerk. And since this is someone I know and like, I felt guilty and told myself I’d make up for it next month.

But then I reminded myself that the best gift to the giver is to simply receive. I don’t know about you, but when I give time, money, or resources to others, I don’t expect anything in return. A genuine thank you or a recommendation is more than enough. So the first benefit of my no-spend month was allowing myself to receive.

2 – You don’t need much to get by

As a camper, backpacker, and wilderness explorer, I know this. Every trip seems to inspire an Instagram post that says something like, “this is all I need to be happy.”

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A post shared by Holly Scherer (@hollyscherer) on Aug 30, 2019 at 1:02pm PDT

Yet I seem to lose this sentiment when I’m stuck in the day to day. We don’t have a large home, but it’s larger than a backpack and easy to fill with things that are nice to have but we could get by without.

We’re not big shoppers. Still, we have no shortage of outdoor gear, footwear, and clothing. Our no-spend month was a nice reminder that although it would be nice to have more trail runners to alternate through, I can get by with one pair at a time.

3 – Life is abundant

This perfectly complements my last point–there is very little we truly need to be happy.

Committing to a no-spend month might also help you realize the abundance you already have. When you can’t go out to be entertained, you start digging up books, games, and equipment you had previously forgotten about. You’ll feel inspired to find creative ways to make the most of the groceries you have on hand. And you’ll feel appreciation for the wonderful humans who are doing this life alongside you. A no-spend month is sure to increase your gratitude for all that you already have.

4 – Creative solutions abound

I’m pretty sure we could have figured out a way to make hair product for Jer with the ingredients we had at home. That said, I pick my battles wisely and dropped my case quickly. I did, however, make my own bath salts and disinfecting spray during that time.

I’m a practical person. But I can’t imagine what you creative types could come up with during a no-spend month. New recipes, games, and even business ideas are sure to abound.

5 – You’re more disciplined than you know

I’m naturally disciplined and a bit of a perfectionist. And while he displays above average discipline, Jer is much more laid back. When it came to our no-spend month, I was diligent about sticking to the rules. Jer, on the other hand, often thought they were pointless.

As disciplined as I am, I still have moments of weakness when it comes to financial decisions. So this no-spend month was a great reminder of how disciplined we both truly are. I imagine the same would be true for you. Even if you don’t plan and have a few slip-ups as we did, you’ll see exciting results when you tally how much you saved at the end of the month.

How a no-spend month could help you

In my opinion, money is one of the most interesting topics. It’s something that seems like simple, rational math on the surface. But financial matters can be deeply emotional and triggering. Our personalities and experiences combine to form unique perspectives on how we think about and respond to money. Almost everyone I’ve met has had limiting beliefs and struggles with money. That aside, I believe all of us are capable of improving our financial health, one small step at a time.

In our household, Jer and I have very different money habits. I imagine the same is true in your family. Over the years we’ve learned how to work together. I’ve written about how to work together here and the benefits of finding a balance between the two here.

Since we all have a unique experience on this planet, you’ll likely enjoy different benefits from your no-spend month. Here are additional rewards you might experience.

1 – Change your habits

There are different opinions on how long it takes to change a habit. I believe that it depends on the individual as well as the specific habit they are trying to change. At the end of the day, it’s simply easier for some people to change habits than others. The good news is that much of the ease some people appear to possess simply comes down to experience.

It’s going to be easier for someone who has quit smoking, eating junk food, and missing workouts to quit impulse spending. They already have experience changing habits and feel more confident because of their past successes.

If you’re new to habit change, allow yourself some grace. Do the best you can, of course. But don’t badger yourself if you slip up. It’s a learning process and will get easier as you continue to practice.

When you commit to a no-spend month, your spending habits will improve even if you screw up. Maybe your habits will improve significantly. Perhaps just a little. Either way, you’ll be ahead of where you’d be had you not given it a shot.

2 – Goodbye impulse purchases

I imagine that most of us end up coming home with more than was on our initial list when we do our weekly shopping trips. I’m pretty good at sticking to my list, but I’m certain that impulse purchases add up to hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars each year.

When you commit to a no-spend month, there will be very little you allow yourself to purchase. This means fewer opportunities to spend impulsively. Calculating your savings at the end of the month might even inspire you to curb impulse spending for good. Imagine how quickly that one change will get you closer to your bigger financial goals

3 – See your potential.

Whether you knock your no-spend month out of the park or struggle with some slip-ups, you’ll inarguably be better off than had you not made the attempt. Whether your no-spend month yields a savings of 200 or 2000 dollars, you’ll realize the potential that’s already within you to get financially fit. This might be the push you need to realize that financial freedom is attainable for you.

Tips for a successful no-spend month

Our rules were simple. Aside from gas and groceries, no spending. When planning your no-spend month, you can create whatever rules you want. As much as I love to create rules and strategies, I preferred to keep it simple for our no-spend month. When devising your rule list, ensure that it’s a bit of a challenge and still something you can stick to. Here are more tips to ensure your no-spend month is a success.

1 – Choose a slow month

We chose to do our first no-spend month in March. There’s not much going on in Minnesota in March so that decreased the temptation to break the promise we made to ourselves.

Choosing to do your first no-spend month in June, with weddings, graduations, and summer vacations, will make it less enjoyable and you’ll be less likely to repeat it. The same goes for December. When planning your first no-spend month, choose a month that’s slow, calm, quiet, and won’t make you regret trying it.

2 – Plan ahead

Our no-spend month would have been a lot easier had we planned ahead. Here are some things to consider when you create your plan.

Make sure you have more than enough health and household items like toilet paper, toothpaste, and laundry detergent on hand before the month begins. Review your budget and look for categories you’ll need to find a no-spend replacement for. For example, if you go out for lunch each day, plan how you’ll get your lunch without spending. If you go on a date night every Friday, create a plan for some no-spend date nights. Check out this post with more ideas to save.

3 – Define your why

I write about identifying your why in a lot of how-to posts. I’ve learned firsthand how hard it is to stick to something if there’s not a good heartfelt reason to.

We’ll use maintaining a healthy weight as an example because it’s something most of us can relate to. I think many of us would love to lose those 10 extra pounds to look good in our swimsuits next summer. But I don’t think that particular motivation encourages lasting change. A health scare, wanting to be able to play with your grandkids, or to be mobile and healthy as you age are whys that are more likely to make your lifestyle changes stick.

Whys that align with your mission and purpose are more likely to help you succeed. Here are examples of whys that might motivate you to stick to your no-spend month.

Set a good example for your children so they have good financial habits when they head out on their own.
Build confidence by proving to yourself that you have the discipline you need to achieve your goals.
To finally get your spending in check and start saving for retirement and your kids’ college fund so you can sleep better and feel less stress.
Build wealth so you can leave a legacy to your favorite cause.

What’s your why and how could it help you stay focused during your no-spend month?

4 – Tackle it as a team

It’s really hard, if not impossible, to make a big change if everyone in the household isn’t on board. The teamwork begins when you come together to define your why. Communication is another key to succeeding as a team. Like I say when we’re navigating the wilderness, it’s impossible to over-communicate. Talk about why you want it, how you’re going to do it, and how it feels openly and often.

Check out this post for more tips to ensure success as a team.

5 – Enlist your friends

Most of us do better when surrounded by a support team. Build your own by inviting friends to join your no-spend month. You might even up the ante by making it a competition. You could have everyone contribute twenty dollars and the family who spends the least wins the entire pot. Get creative and have fun with it.

6 – Avoid temptation

Don’t go shopping. Unsubscribe from emails from your favorite store. Don’t drive past the doughnut shop. Just say no to that after-work happy hours. If there’s something that tempts you from month to month, create a plan ahead of time for how you’ll avoid it.

The importance of filling your cup

In a book about happiness, I learned all of the reasons money can’t buy happiness. But then the author cautioned that if we stopped spending, the economy would collapse and we’d subsequently be unhappy. There’s no denying that we’ve got to spend money to keep the economy afloat. But here’s another perspective to consider.

Years ago I wrote a post about why we need to fill our own cups. As wives, mothers, husbands, leaders, dog dads, and cat moms, it’s easy to put everyone else’s needs before our own. This leaves us drained and often unable to give our best.

Over the years I’ve learned that I need to get enough sleep and exercise, to eat well, and meditate each day if I’m going to show up as the best wife to my spouse. I need to fill my own cup or there’s nothing that can spill over into the lives of others.

As we’ve journeyed through a global health crisis and an unstable economy, I’ve been thinking about how this is true of our finances as well. The companies and households who filled their own cups were not only able to take care of their own needs but also able to serve and give generously to others.

That’s not to say that the companies that were forced to layoff employees and cut back made mistakes leading up to this. This was unpredictable and for some industries, impossible to prepare for. The same is true for many households. There are so many varying circumstances.

Still, there were plenty of generous people who were able to pay their employees when their businesses were forced to close. There were even more who sent food and financial support to food shelves, helping those who found themselves without a paycheck. And they couldn’t have done this without had they not filled their own cups first.

I could be wrong but I feel this is a safe prediction. If you’re worried about hurting the economy by not spending, don’t fear, others will do it for you. Admittedly, it’s too early for a non-economist like me to predict our economic recovery. But if everything I’ve read about consumer behavior holds true, you shouldn’t have to worry about the economy collapsing while you fill your own cup.

A no-spend month is a great way to get ahead on your financial goals. And with the right team and plan in place, I dare say that it could even be fun. What’s stopping you from giving a no-spend month a try?

What are your best tips to curb spending? Share in the comments below or come tell me all about it on Facebook.

17 books to transform your life in just 15 minutes a day

By Holly Scherer

Reading has been an important daily habit of mine for years. Like most children who are exposed to books, I was obsessed. I not only loved to read them but also liked to play library with them.

After graduating from college and having read the world’s most boring textbooks, I quit reading for a few years. When I started again, I picked up deep stories like The Poisonwood Bible and The Celestine Prophecy.

As I transitioned into the expectations of the corporate world, the required travel and long hours took me away from reading again. Looking back, I should have used all those nights away from home to read instead of working. Just one more lesson I learned the hard way.

A decade later I started traveling even more and that’s when I became an audiobook addict. The book that transformed my life and renewed my love of reading was Linchpin by Seth Godin. That was a decade ago and since then I’ve read and listened to hundreds of books that have transformed my mindset and helped my husband, Jer, and I create the life we enjoy today.

If that’s not enough reason to read, here are some other benefits of a daily reading habit. Reading is good for your brain. Just as we need to move and work our bodies to maintain muscle mass, our brains need daily workouts too. Reading helps improve memory, critical thinking, and concentration. It’s also good for your mental health. It reduces stress, and builds confidence, and makes you more empathetic.

Books encourage personal growth and give you interesting things to talk about. As far as hobbies and entertainment go, nothing is more inexpensive. When purchased, books have a great return on investment. But don’t forget about the countless free resources from America’s libraries.

The final reason to read is that once you discover which types of books interest you, reading is fun and enjoyable.

Make it a habit

Finding time to read it the same as finding time for anything else that’s important to you. It’s not so much that you find or make time. Instead, you decide what’s important and schedule it.

The first thing I do every morning after brushing my teeth and grabbing a cup of coffee is read for 15 minutes. My morning books are always something spiritual-ish. It’s a wonderful way to start my day with a positive attitude and good energy.

Another great time to read is right before bed. It’s a fantastic way to wind down and forget about your worries of the day. And if you’re reading a paper book or using a kindle with the device light turned off, you’ll help your eyes adjust from a day filled with screens, helping you sleep better.

Don’t forget about audiobooks. They’re a great way to read more while your hands and eyes are focused on other things. I listen to audiobooks while driving, cooking, cleaning, and exercising. And if you’re on a budget, check out your local library’s offering of downloadable audiobooks and books on CD.

One final tip that will help you read considerably more books this year is to carry a Kindle with you. Instead of picking up your phone while waiting for an appointment or eating lunch, you’ll be able to dive back into that book you’ve been loving. Kindles are a convenient way to carry your entire library wherever you go.

What to read

Some of the most beneficial life skills aren’t taught in schools. So unless you had caregivers who were savvy in all of these areas and excellent coaches to boot, I imagine there are some things you could improve on. That’s certainly the case for me.

These are the seven books I think everyone should read as they transition to adulthood. Even if you had caregivers and teachers who were great coaches on self-control, decision making, interpersonal skills, personal finance, and relationships, I guarantee you’ll gain something from these books.

You can click the title or the photo to be taken directly to the Amazon page for each book. Keep in mind these also make great gifts!

7 Books everyone should read

1 – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This is the only book that is duplicated on my other must-read book list. I think it’s that important of a read.

The title may lead you to believe that it’s all about productivity. While it does a great job teaching ways to do more of what’s important to you, this book is about so much more. It’s about making the most of your whole life: your time, health, and relationships.

2 – The Four Agreements

If everyone on earth read this book, our world would be a very different place. It’s a short and easy read that will change how you interact with the world almost immediately. This book will help you reclaim your personal power. You’ll learn to look deeper and approach situations with more confidence and empathy. That’s why it’s my number two must-read.

3 – How to Win Friends and Influence People

This is another book that could change the world if we all read it. Some of the language could be considered dated, but please don’t let that diminish the value of this book.

Human interaction is one of those basic life skills most of us simply weren’t taught. Go out in the world for a day and just observe people and this will be evident. There are many reasons that we don’t always interact well, but much of this we simply never learned. Whether you’re a server, a CEO, or a stay at home dad, this book is certain to improve your interactions.

4 – The 5 Love Languages

Originally meant for couples, understanding love languages can help us with all of our relationships. For example, if you’re a minimalist and have a mother in law whose primary love language is gift-giving, this book will help you find a win-win. By learning to read and respond to her love language, you’ll be able to help her feel valuable by giving gifts, while not being stuck with a bunch of junk to drop off at the Goodwill.

It takes some time to make these tips a habit. But once you do, you’ll find a whole new level of peace in your most important relationships.

5 – Boundaries

I think it’s safe to say that many of us suck (or have sucked) at boundaries. I say this because as I read this book, people I know personally came to mind with every example of poor boundaries. I’ll be the first to admit that boundaries are hard for me too. I’m very clear about what’s okay and what’s not okay with me. I just have a really hard time communicating that.

This is a comprehensive book filled with practical advice and examples to get you started on your journey to better boundaries. All that’s left is to practice.

6 – 48 Days to the Work You Love

Many people in my generation entered college and the workforce with no idea who we were, how we were gifted, and what we were drawn to. This isn’t the worst thing because we’re constantly evolving and we learn by trying new things. That said, as I’m rediscovering who I am, I find that I’m able to tie all of my passions and superpowers back to the very beginning.

My biggest issue with not knowing who we are is that in 2020 we’re still advising young people to go to college and take out hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans. Many parents and advisors still believe that getting a piece of paper will provide young people with a secure job and solve all their problems.

I took that route and ended up starting over at age 38. That’s not to say that I’m against education and learning. This post should be an indicator that I love it. But when young people have no idea what they want, can’t afford it, or worse, don’t want to be there, we need to start having different conversations.

Whether you’re just finishing up high school or find yourself miserable in your midlife career, this book will guide you through those conversations. You’ll rediscover who you are, what you’re exceptionally skilled at, and how to build a work-life around that.

7 – The Total Money Makeover

As a culture, we’re not great with money. That’s why I’m so passionate about sharing our financial journey.

Over the years I’ve read dozens of books about personal finance. I even have some brand new ones queued up on my Kindle for this year. While there’s no one perfect book on the subject, I think this one is as good as it gets. The reason I love it is that the strategy is so simple, anyone can follow it.

Our personal finances affect every aspect of our lives. Don’t you owe it to yourself to enjoy more peace in your family, health, career, and finances? You do and that’s why this is my final must-read book.

Now that I’ve finally put this list together, it’s time to share the best of what I read last year. My book selections aren’t always timely as to when the book was published. But they’re timely to my needs. For example, there’s a book I purchased in 2014 that I just wrapped up at the beginning of this year. I was simply waiting for the right time.

When you finish reviewing my recommendations below, check out my list of 13 Books for More Courage, Clarity, and Confidence. You’ll find some of my favorite books of all time on that list so you won’t want to miss it.

As I mentioned, the following list includes the best books I read last year. I’d love to do this annually because many readers have told me that these lists are valuable to them. So stay tuned for my annual favorite book list.

Let’s get started.

The 10 best books I read last year

1 – Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

Let’s start off with the heaviest books and get them out of the way. These two books were very powerful for me this year, so they certainly earned their way to the top. But I promise that there’s lighter stuff below.

I held on to this book for a long time before reading it. I think it was the title I had a hard time with. But the book in and of itself is excellent.

Here’s what I really loved about it. Most of us have some narcissistic tendencies. It’s a sliding scale but many of us have enough that they can affect our relationships with the people we value most, such as our spouses and children. This book covers how to break those narcissistic patterns as well as the trap we fall into when we try to overcorrect. This is a great book for anyone who wants to learn how to improve their most important relationships.

2 – The Body Keeps the Score

I’ve always erred on the side of caution when it comes to recommending psychology books. So many of us have unresolved trauma and I worry that books like this could be more harmful than helpful to some individuals. Still, I found myself recommending this book over and over again to teachers, yoga instructors, and health care professionals. And while listening to the epilogue, I thought that all politicians and voters need to read this book as well. Here’s why.

I was blown away by the stats regarding trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). “The ACE study revealed that traumatic life experiences during childhood and adolescence are far more common than expected. The study respondents were mostly white, middle class, middle-aged, well educated, and financially secure enough to have good medical insurance, and yet only one-third of the respondents reported no adverse childhood experiences.” “Of the two-thirds of respondents who reported an adverse experience, 87 percent scored two or more. One in six of all respondents had an ACE score of four or higher.”

What if we took this knowledge with us into our daily interactions? Not trying to diagnose or fix people–please don’t try to do that unless you’re an actual professional. Instead, what if we could use this information to see when people are reacting to triggers and in turn respond with empathy and compassion?

In my opinion, this should be required reading for teachers, politicians, and anyone who shapes and influences lives.

3 – Worthy

Have you read all the personal finance books, know exactly what you should do but struggle when it comes time to actually do it? You might have some limiting beliefs about yourself and finances.

I doubt that any of us made it this far in life without picking up at least one limiting belief about money. This book will teach you exercises to uncover these beliefs and help you do the work to change them.

4 – The Art of Asking

If you’ve struggled with limiting beliefs about money, you’ve probably also struggled with asking and receiving. I’ll admit that this has been hard for me too. And while I’m getting better at accepting help, I still consider it one of my greatest weaknesses. As Brené Brown explains:

Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into “those who offer help” and “those who need help.” The truth is that we are both.
― Brené Brown

This book is for us offerers! Listen with an open heart and mind and you’ll be sure to feel more confident when it comes to accepting help. And notice I said listen? This book by punk rocker, Amanda Palmer, is fantastic on audio.

5 – The Road Back to You

The Enneagram was all the rage last year and it continues to grow in popularity. I’ve taken every personality test I know of and this is the one I can most relate to. The Road Back to You isn’t just another book about personality styles. It’s a guide that will help you recognize the connection between your strengths and weaknesses as well as your connection to others.

Not only that, it’s fun to read. So fun, in fact, Jer and I read it aloud to each other while camping last summer. It was a great way to get to know each other on a deeper level and learn how to use our strengths to build a better team. However you choose to read it, I know you’ll love this book.

6 – The Immortal Diamond + Falling Upward

Throughout this post, I’ve mentioned my journey to rediscover my true self. For example, I have to believe that my love of reading is part of my innate sense of curiosity and part of my true self.

We are all born with this understanding of who and what we are. Then our familial and societal conditioning often lead us astray as we aim to become who we think we’re supposed to be. Around midlife, many of us find ourselves on a journey to rediscover the true selves we previously lost touch with.

The Immortal Diamond is an incredible book about our spiritual journey to find ourselves. After reading The Immortal Diamond, you may be craving more Rohr. I recommend diving into his book Falling Upward next.

7 – 10% Happier

I added this book to my Kindle wish list based on recommendations from a few friends. When I noticed a great deal on the book, I went in and read some reviews. I consequently almost didn’t purchase it.

First, there were quite a few negative reviews. And second, did I really want to read a book about meditation written by a news guy? Seriously, a news guy?

But something was telling me to read this. So against my better judgment, I went for it and I’m so grateful that I did. I plowed through this book in less than a week. But more importantly, I started meditating again after quitting for a couple of years because, get this, I couldn’t quiet my mind.

This is a fun and fast read filled with a lot of great resources. I highly recommend you ignore the reviews and give it a shot.

8 – To Shake the Sleeping Self

Just another memoir about someone riding their bike to Patagonia.

Yes, thousands of people have made this journey. But none of these people are exactly the same. And although we were raised in two completely different worlds, there was something really relatable about Jedidiah Jenkins.

The turning point in this book for me was when he wrote about unpacking his (internal) baggage as he rode through Baja California. I could relate to everything he experienced through my recent solo camping and backpacking journey. There’s something about hearing someone else’s story that makes you feel more “normal” and less alone.

If you’ve got some baggage to unpack or just love a great adventure, take this book for a spin. (See what I did there?)

9 – Educated

Oh My God!

I repeated this phrase over and over as I listened to this book twice in a row during backpacking training hikes. This is a simultaneously gut-wrenching and heartwarming story about the resilience of the human spirit. Hard to listen too at times but a reminder that a better future is always possible.

10 – The Longevity Diet

Low carb, keto, and Whole30 are all the rage. Just hop on Pinterest and you’ll find recipes for “healthy” alternatives to all of your favorite foods. Keto brownies, Whole 30 onion rings, and low carb meatloaf come together to make a delicious dinner. But just because they’re “diet” doesn’t mean that they’re healthy nor will they help you lose weight.

Sorry to burst your bubble. But in my well-researched opinion, there’s only one way to maintain good health and a healthy weight. As Michael Pollan famously put it: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” And my friends who are certified health coaches and hold degrees in nutrition agree.

If you’re interested in learning more about the subject, there are a lot of great books out there such as How Not to Die. But I’m choosing to share The Longevity Diet because it’s shorter and easier to digest and implement.

If you care about more than simply fitting into your favorite jeans from high school, you’re going to love this book.

How to eat an elephant

Between this post and The 13 Books for More Courage, Clarity, and Confidence, I just shared more than 30 books. That’s more than I’d usually recommend but since I plan to do this annually, I wanted to establish a solid foundation. So I’d love to offer one piece of advice to help you digest this list.

Start where you are.

I read the books in the 7 must-read books list over the course of a decade. As I approached a problem I needed to solve, I sought the advice of virtual mentors who had gone before me. I took these in one at a time when I was good and ready.

What one area of your life do you need the most help with right now? Personal finance? Relationships? Discipline and self-control? Pick one book. Start there and read one page at a time.

The average person reads 200 words per minute. The average non-fiction book is about 50,000 words. So in theory, you should be able to read a typical book in less than 5 hours. Using these same figures, if you read 15 minutes every day, you could easily finish every book on this list plus a few fun ones in just 12 short months.

What books are on your must-read list? Share in the comments below or come tell me about them with me on Facebook. Who knows, they could even make next year’s list!

How being wholehearted helped me find my true self

By Holly Scherer

Welcome to my personal journey to become more wholehearted. As a lifelong perfectionist, I’ve struggled with my sense of inherent worthiness. For most of my life, I believed that my value as a person was a reflection of my grades, appearance, generosity, job title, income, weight, and net worth. Then one day I realized the perfection I’d been chasing wasn’t an unattainable goal.

Letting go of my need to be perfect opened up a whole new world of opportunity for me. But it hasn’t been easy.

In 2018 I published a vulnerable post about my limiting beliefs that was very difficult to write. The morning it went live I shared the link on social media then went a lecture with a friend. When I returned to my car after the talk, I checked social media to see what people were saying.

There was only one comment and the reader explained they’ve never felt anything like this. Rather than having a rational reaction, like, duh, anyone else who struggles with this isn’t going to speak up publically online, I plummeted into a shame spiral. I told myself, I’m such an idiot for publishing this. Now no one will ever take me seriously. I should just shut it all down and quit. I knew I wasn’t cut out for this. God, I’m so stupid.

I carried that self-doubt into the weekend. I knew these feelings of shame all too well and I wanted nothing more than to stop them. But not just for now. I wanted to put an end to them permanently. So while I cleaned the house that Saturday, I pulled up Brené Brown’s TED Talks about shame and vulnerability and began listening, over and over, for hours on end.

This is the day that my year of wholehearted living began.

As I listened to the talks, I stopped now and then to scribble some notes in the back of my journal. The first line I wrote down was, “People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging.”

In her research, Brown called these people wholehearted. I wrote down the word, wholehearted, and I knew instantly that was my one word for 2019. I thought, If I could learn to live wholeheartedly, maybe I could let go of all these years of unworthiness and striving for perfection.

Below are some of the other notes I wrote in my journal that day.

Wholehearted people share the following qualities: courage, compassion, and connection.
Courage isn’t about being brave but telling the story of who you are with your whole heart.
The wholehearted have the courage to be imperfect.
Wholehearted people are willing to let go of who they thought they were supposed to be in order to be who they are.
Wholehearted people embrace vulnerability.
The wholehearted believe that what makes them vulnerable also makes them beautiful.

I wanted to live all of these things more than anything. So in order to hold myself accountable, I decided to share my wholehearted journey with my email subscribers. I picked a theme for each month, incorporating Brown’s 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living and got to work. I used this list because I knew it would challenge me. If I were creating my own, there’s no way things like laughter, song, and dance would have made the cut.

It wasn’t easy at first. I had to fight a lifetime of limiting beliefs. There were times I thought it would be easier to go back to the way I lived a decade ago, numbing this discomfort and vulnerability with cigarettes, booze, and food. But then I remembered how hard I worked to get to where I am today and I used that to keep moving forward.

For an entire year, I followed the plan I share with you below. And then one day I felt it. I was hiking in a neighborhood park and I noticed a feeling of wholeness and worthiness. I felt wholehearted.

It wasn’t because I was outside or because I was being a good girl and exercising. I felt worthy just for being. I was so grateful that all of this deliberate practice was finally becoming a part of who I am. Let me assure you that this feeling still comes and goes. But at least now I know it’s in there somewhere.

Here’s how I became more wholehearted.

Step One – You Are Worthy

The first step is to practice believing that you are worthy of love and belonging. You are worthy just as you are today. Not when you lose 10 pounds or get that promotion.

This can be a difficult mindset switch for those of us who were raised in cultures where our value was tied to our achievements. But think of how different your life would be if you could let go of the belief that your worthiness is tied to your “success”.

While I was working through this step, I happened upon this podcast episode that brought a lot of clarity to the topic. Whatever you believe spiritually, consider listening. I believe the message is valuable to everyone and that it will help you on your wholehearted journey.

Step Two – Just Say No

The second step to become more wholehearted is learning to say, “No” to anything that challenges that sense of worthiness. This could include anything from friends, family, and coworkers, to social media, and your own disempowering beliefs.

If my interactions on social media are causing me to question my worthiness, I need to step away. When a story I’m telling myself makes me feel unlovable, I need to rewrite that script. If there’s a person in my life who communicates with venom and insults, I need to take a step back until I can respond in a healthy manner.

Learn to recognize what’s triggering your feelings of unworthiness and find the courage to just say no.

Step Three – Let Go

The next ten steps follow The 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living. If you want to dive deeper into the guideposts, I recommend reading Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

The first guidepost to wholehearted living is to cultivate authenticity by letting go of what people think. I wrote an entire post about authenticity that you can read here.

Letting go of what people think, however, isn’t easy for most of us. And here’s why. Brown says, “when we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable.”

This is how I walk through the process of letting go without losing my ability to be vulnerable.

1 – I catch myself.

When I published that post on limiting beliefs, for example, I was stuck in a shame spiral. I was repeating variations of, “Ugh, I can’t believe what I shared about my limiting beliefs. Everyone is going to think I’m crazy. No one will ever take me seriously again. I’m going to have to shut this all down and get a job as a cashier at Aldi.”

2 – I ask what I can learn.

This was obviously triggering some old wounds. What could I learn from this experience that would prevent me from going to this place in the future?

I came to the realization that even if a thousand people hate that post but it helps one person, then it was worth it. I also learned that it’s impossible to please everyone and if you try, you will disappoint everyone, including yourself.

3 – It’s not about you.

So often, when we’re worried about what other people think, we don’t actually know what they think. We’re just responding to a story we made up in our heads.

But occasionally we’re reacting to something someone actually said. Ask yourself if the comments were meant to be helpful or hurtful? Most of us aren’t good at receiving feedback even if it’s constructive. Like everything I talk about in this post, it’s a skill we have to learn. If you believe the comment was meant to help you, spend time reflecting on what you can take away and incorporate.

Sometimes the things people say are meant to hurt us. In these cases, the comments are rarely, if ever, about us. You’ve likely heard the phrase, “hurt people hurt people”? It’s not about you but their own pain and shame. If you’d like to learn more about how to stop taking these comments personally, check out the book The Four Agreements.

Step Four – Self-Compassion

The next steps is cultivating self-compassion by letting go of perfectionism.

“When we work from a place where we believe that I’m enough, we stop screaming and start listening. We’re kinder and gentler to the people around us and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”
– Brené Brown

I told you about my struggle with perfectionism at the very beginning of this post. I wore perfectionism as a badge of honor for most of my life. Then one day I realized that it wasn’t making me better. It was paralyzing me and preventing me from achieving my potential. So for this step, I adopted a new mantra.

My best is always enough!

“There was a man who wanted to transcend his suffering so he went to a Buddhist temple to find a Master to help him. He went to the Master and asked, ‘Master, if I meditate four hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?’
The Master looked at him and said, ‘If you meditate four hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in ten years.’
Thinking he could do better, the man then said, ‘oh Master, what if I meditate eight hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?’
The Master looked at him and said, ‘If you meditate eight hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in twenty years.’
‘But why will it take me longer is I meditate more?’ the man asked.
The Master replied. ‘You are not here to sacrifice your joy or your life. You are here to live, to be happy, and to love. If you can do your best in two hours of meditation, but you spend eight hours instead, you will only grow tired, miss the point, and you won’t enjoy your life. Do your best, and perhaps you will learn that no matter how long you meditate, you can live, love, and be happy.’”
– Don Miguel Ruiz; The Four Agreements

The next time you catch yourself rumbling with not good enough, ask yourself, did I do the best I could? If the answer is yes, tell yourself you did great. If the answer is no, be compassionate with yourself. To err is human and it’s your humanity that makes you beautiful.

Step Five – Resilience

The next guidepost to wholehearted living is cultivating resilience by letting go of numbing and powerlessness. This guidepost reminds me of something Brown said in her TED Talk and touches on in all of her books.

“We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.”
– Brené Brown

She goes on to say that you can’t selectively numb emotions. When you try to cover up all the “bad” stuff like pain, anger, and fear with a drink or two or five, you also cover up all the good stuff like joy, and love, and gratitude. And then we find ourselves “miserable and looking for purpose and meaning and then we feel vulnerable…” and the cycle of numbing continues.

I know how easy it is to fall into this cycle. When we think about numbing, we tend to only consider drugs and alcohol. But I’ve seen shopping, gambling, pills, exercise, food, and social media be just as harmful.

The average person picks up their phone about 60 times per day. Have you ever stopped to think about what you’re feeling when you pick it up? I’ve noticed that I tend to pick up my phone to distract me when I’m feeling uneasy.

Here are some things that help with my resilience when I’m feeling uneasy and powerless.

Journaling
Talking to someone I trust
Exercise
Meditation and prayer
Yoga
Positive self-talk
Positive media — books, audiobooks, podcasts, Ted talks, YouTube
Getting out in nature

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A post shared by Holly Scherer (@hollyscherer) on Oct 24, 2019 at 1:50pm PDT

Step Six – Be Grateful

Cultivate joy and gratitude by letting go of scarcity.

On Valentine’s Day 2012 I started a Gratitude Journal. It’s one of the first things I do each morning to this day. And I believe that it’s one of the best things you can do to live with joy and contentment.

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We live in a world that operates on scarcity. Go into almost any workplace and you’ll find scarcity acted out.

Here’s an example. A local coffee shop brings in an expert to help with their marketing. Everyone who had anything to do with marketing before refuses to work with the expert, saying things like, “he came from the tech industry, what does he know about coffee shops?” What’s really happening in this situation, and every similar workplace conflict, is that these employees are reacting from a place of fear and scarcity.

I have a great post on scarcity as it pertains to personal finance, but you can apply the principles to any area of life. You can read it here.

Step Seven – Have Faith

Remember that part about using these guideposts because I knew I wouldn’t do things that were uncomfortable otherwise? This is one of those steps. Cultivating intuition and trusting faith by letting go of the need for certainty.

I love certainty SO MUCH! I’m a type-A, researcher, planner, and ducks-in-a-rower, to a T. I find it really hard to operate without certainty.

One of my goals last year was to take a solo backpacking trip. I had camped alone a lot, but being alone in the dark wilderness was a new level of scary. Initially, I planned to do a couple of nights in a state park remote campsite. I don’t how, but somehow that turned into a five-day, 85-mile hike on the Superior Hiking Trail.

This was the longest hike I’d ever attempted and my first time backpacking solo. I planned to do the most beautiful section of trail which also meant it was the most difficult. It’s a challenging trail with lots of rocks, roots, and steep descents. And coming off one of the wettest years in history, it was insanely muddy. This ankle-deep mud cut my normal speedy pace in half. While hiking, it rained for two days straight which made my pack about 10 pounds heavier with everything being wet.

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A post shared by Holly Scherer (@hollyscherer) on Sep 26, 2019 at 8:59am PDT

It was hard and I saw a lot of people quit. But I was able to tap into gratitude, intuition, and trusting faith and keep on walking. I beat my goal and then some. I even completed my first ever 20-mile day. And the only way this was possible was by letting go of my need for certainty and to just have faith.

Step Eight – Stop Comparing

Cultivate creativity by letting go of comparison.

Think back to when you were eight years old. I bet you loved being creative. I adored coloring, crafts, embroidery, photography, pottery, writing, dance, and I even created a better dewy decimal system for when I played library.

As I got older, all of those creative things I loved doing started to disappear one by one. After I graduated from college, I saw creativity as frivolous and a waste of time. I was an “adult” and it was time to do “adult” things.

But here’s the truth; we’re all creative. Either we use it or we stifle it. And I’ve learned that stifling our innate strengths and desires leads to anger, resentment, and hopelessness.

To unleash our inherent creativity, we must move past those things that stand in our way. We’ve covered many of these roadblocks already: worrying about what other people think, perfectionism, and fear. And comparison is just one more roadblock.

Our ability to compare can be a good thing when trying to buy the healthiest food for our family while grocery shopping. But comparison can turn ugly when we start comparing ourselves to others. It’s impossible to compare ourselves because we all have unique stories and experiences.

Here are some ideas to help you move beyond comparison.

Celebrate your accomplishments.
Create a smile file of awards and compliments.
Practice gratitude daily.
Write daily affirmations.
Commit to only comparing yourself to the person you were yesterday.

Step Nine – Rest

In step nine we’ll cultivate play and rest by letting go of the idea that our worth is tied to our accomplishments.

I know I’m not the only one who has fallen into the achievement trap. Many Americans work WAY TOO MUCH! When I worked in the corporate world, there were times I was forced to work 14+ hour days for more than three weeks straight. I will argue that this is unhealthy until the day I die. Yet I had colleagues who worked like this all the time. And those of us who refused were often shamed or threatened.

There are many reasons that we work this much. Our belief that our worthiness is tied to our accomplishments is just one of those reasons. So I’d like to share an epiphany I had one morning while journaling.

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A post shared by Holly Scherer (@hollyscherer) on Aug 29, 2018 at 9:30am PDT

All that time I spent communing with nature the last few summers hasn’t been wasted nor frivolous. It’s been a time of healing and growth. It’s part of my story and all of the future work I’ll do. It didn’t put me behind, but exactly where I need to be.
If we don’t take time to care for our minds, bodies, and spirits, they won’t be here for us when we need them most. If we don’t stop and let ourselves heal, our bodies will eventually force us to. Taking time to stop and listen isn’t being lazy. Spending time in nature isn’t wasted. Rest is a natural part of life and ignoring it won’t help you be your best.
It’s during this downtime that I come up with some of my best and most popular content ideas. Our time away has helped us create our best life and has brought new ideas for our future. And more than anything, it’s helped me learn to love myself better.
Not taking time to rest is not only a disservice to yourself, but also your family, friends, coworkers, and every life you touch. Be sure and schedule downtime weekly and a few longer vacations at least twice a year. Ten, twenty, fifty years from now, you’ll be grateful you did.
– Me

Step Ten – Keep Calm

Cultivating calm and stillness by letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle.

As much as diet and exercise, getting good rest and reducing stress are vital to our health and longevity. As someone who is more of a naturally anxious person, I’ve had to work hard to make stillness part of my daily life.

For the last several years, I’ve made calm and stillness part of the first hour of my day. My current morning routine includes reading something that feeds my soul, followed by writing a couple of pages in my journal. Then I end my power hour with a quick meditation session.

If you need more calm in your life, would you consider taking a 30-day challenge? For the next 30 days, commit to setting aside at least five minutes a day to center and calm. I enjoy doing it first thing in the morning as it sets the tone for the rest of my day. Perhaps you may enjoy five minutes of quiet before you greet your family after a long workday, or before you drift off to sleep at night.

Commit to just 30 days for five minutes. If you find that benefits you, try ten minutes for the next 30-day period and let it grow from there.

Step Eleven – Find Meaning

In this step, we’ll focus on letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to” in order to cultivate meaningful work.

Growing up, I believed the purpose of work was to make money and be “successful.” It was what you were “supposed to” do. I was never told that I should find something that aligned with my skills and passions. Nor did I believe that work could be meaningful. So I went to college, took the job that offered the most money, and ended up miserable at “The Worst Company in America to Work For.”

Those expectations of what we’re “supposed to” do run deep in our families and culture. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a woman while I was traveling this past summer. She said, “That’s one of my biggest regrets in life. All three of my sons are very successful, but neither of my daughters work. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

I’m pretty sure she knew that I didn’t “work” either, but I didn’t take it personally. I responded by saying, “Many of us learn that our value lies in our achievements and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I believe that while we’re here, we should use our gifts and talents to serve and provide value. But that doesn’t mean a woman who makes it to the C suite is a better human than the woman (or man) who chooses to stay home and raise their family.”

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Everyone’s work has value. I appreciate the person who clears the leaves from the stairs in the park as much as the person who oversees park maintenance. I value the person who harvested the beans that made my morning coffee as much as the guy who started the company that buys and roasts the beans and gets them to the store.

All jobs are important. It doesn’t matter what your parents, spouse, or high school best friend thinks you should do. What matters is that the work is meaningful to you.

Finding and creating meaningful work after a lifetime of “supposed to” isn’t something that happens overnight. And you don’t necessarily need to be employed or get paid for this work. Meaningful work can be a hobby, side project, volunteer effort, or it can mean taking the very best care of your household and family.

Step Twelve – Laugh Out Loud

My final step in my 12 step program to live more wholeheartedly was letting go of being cool and always in control by cultivating laughter, song, and dance.

Ugh, being in control is my love language you guys. Ain’t nobody got time for laughter, song, and dance …except this guy.

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A post shared by Holly Scherer (@hollyscherer) on Dec 11, 2019 at 9:36am PST

My husband, Jeremiah, leads with playful and it’s brought so much joy to our lives. These playful times are just as good for the soul as any of the prayer, meditation, and serious things we do.

So how do we create margin for more play in our lives? Here are a few suggestions.

1 – Switch up your daily routine.

Play seems to come more easily when I step away from the day-to-day. I loosen up when we’re on vacation or in the woods. But since being on a permanent vacation isn’t feasible and would likely lose its appeal, we need to look for other ways to switch it up.

Instead of sitting down to watch TV after dinner, go for a walk or play on the playground. Ride your bike or take public transit to work. Find little ways to switch up your routine that will inevitably invite more play into your life.

2 – Schedule downtime.

Just as I need to schedule time to work on specific projects each week, I need to schedule time to shut it all down. I try to schedule one day a week to let go and play. On a daily basis, I like to schedule an hour when I can do whatever I want. And then, of course, longer vacations are a great way to really let loose.

But if you’re anything like me, you need to schedule it or it won’t happen. This time we spend taking care of ourselves is just as important as any work-related activity.

3 – Tap into your inner child.

What did you love doing as a child but haven’t tried in years? GO DO THAT!

I loved playing outside, riding bike, and ice skating. I think a lot of us had things like this we loved to do. And then somewhere along the line, many of us lost touch with those things.

What brought Jer and I back to playing outside was getting serious about our finances. When we buckled down to pay off our mortgage, our lack of an entertainment budget forced us to do free things like hiking and biking. And cutting back on fancy vacations is what got us started on our camping journey.

When we take care of our own needs, we bring the best of ourselves to others. While much of what we think of as self-care can be serious work, this assignment got me thinking about the importance of play.

What will you go and try just like you’re a kid again?

Here are three more things that helped me become more wholehearted this year.

Step Thirteen – Talk about it

I had a lot of long meaningful chats with a friend on training hikes this past summer. It brought to surface a number of issues that were unknowingly holding me back. It fostered connection and helped me feel less alone. And it helped reinforce the healthy behaviors I was trying to adopt.

Step Fourteen – Get Outside

In Step Seven, I talked about cultivating trusting faith on a solo backpacking trip. The last few summers I’ve been learning just how important spending time in nature is for me. It’s made such a big difference in my life that I try to go into the woods every day I can. I believe that connecting with nature is something we could all benefit from.

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Step Fifteen – Read

Wholehearted people are willing to let go of who they thought they were supposed to be in order to be who they are. – Brené Brown Click To Tweet

I read a lot of books, and this one stood out as particularly helpful on my journey to become more wholehearted. It’s about our search for wholeness and rediscovering our true selves. And as Richard Rohr writes, “You do not climb up to your True Self. You fall into it, so don’t avoid all falling.” I’d say that’s a pretty good summary of this year of wholehearted living.

Why should living wholeheartedly be important to you?

You are the key to healing this hurting and broken world. When you learn to fully love and accept yourself, you will finally be able to love others the way they need to be loved. This will, in turn, allow them to fully love and accept themselves and love others the way they need to be loved. It’s a ripple effect that all starts with you.

“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”
– Brené Brown; Daring Greatly

You ARE worthy of love and belonging and my hope is that these 15 steps to wholehearted living will help you see that.

5 Steps to Change Your Life with One Word

By Holly Scherer

Have you heard about this One Word phenomenon? Around the world, people select one word to be their guiding intention for the coming year. Rather than setting goals or resolutions, they focus on this one word.

I first became acquainted with the idea of One Word in 2016 in a blog post by my friend Ashley. I was inspired by what she wrote and I promptly added One Word to my existing goal-setting strategy.

My word of the year for 2017 was courage. I thought about courage a lot throughout the first part of the year. Then in July, something shifted.

I was having a pity party about not getting enough of my husband, Jer’s, vacation time. In response, he suggested that I go do something alone. I thought about camping solo and visiting more Minnesota State Parks, but the idea of camping alone terrified me.

Then I remembered my One Word, courage. I thought, what’s the point of setting this intention if I’m not going to embody it? And that’s when my One Word became real.

In 2018 my One Word was confidence. Ooof! That year included a lot of inner work on perfectionism and limiting beliefs. To be completely honest, that work continues to this day. Beware of (and embrace) words that may stick around for years to come.

In 2019, I decided to do something different. I picked the word wholehearted and decided to share my journey with my email subscribers. I’ll be sharing a blog post about my journey to live more wholeheartedly very soon. But first I want to share what I learned about implementing this one word on my wholehearted journey.

Like resolutions, I imagine it’s very common for people to set their intention, talk a little bit about it, post something on social media, and then forget about it until it’s time to pick a word for next year. I get it. Life is busy and we all have a lot going on. But if you’re going to go through the trouble of setting your intention, don’t you at least want to try and make the most of it?

Here are five tips I learned while trying to embody my intention last year. I’ll use my One Word for 2020 as an example, but I encourage you to insert your own word. As we walk through each step, I’ll invite you to complete each exercise before moving on.

Before we begin, you’re going to need to set your One Word. Do you have one in mind?

If you answered “no,” let me ask you a question. In one word, if you could change something that would make the greatest impact on every area of your life, what would that be? Maybe it’s love, gratitude, discipline, joy, balance, surrender, health, trust… It could be anything that inspires you. If you’re stuck, check out this list of ideas.

Do you have your word? Take a minute to write it down. You can write it in your journal or give Evernote a try.

I selected abundance as my One Word this year and here’s what I plan to do with it.

Step One – Measure it

Now that you have your One Word, how will you know if you’ve made progress?

I understand that many great words are hard to quantify. Ask yourself, how will my life be different a year from now if I’m successful with this intention?

For my word, abundance, I’ll feel like I succeeded when I spend more time being open to the goodness flowing into my life than unconsciously trying to block it.

We all have an inner thermostat of how much love, money, and success we believe we deserve. In his book, The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks calls this our Upper Limit. As people level up in their lives and exceed this limit, sometimes they unconsciously do things to sabotage their success.

Looking back I can see that I’ve been doing this my whole life. Since I’ve become conscious of this behavior, I’ve been able to flip the switch and keep moving forward. And a big part of this will be allowing more abundance into my life this year.

How will you know if your One Word is a success?

Step Two – Name Your Why

Why do you want this change? Why do you really want it? Keep asking yourself that question until you come up with an answer that makes you feel something. That’s your why.

For example, when someone sets a weight loss goal, they’re more likely to be successful and maintain it if they have a compelling why. Looking good in a bikini for your upcoming vacation is a fine reason to shed a few pounds. But it’s not as compelling as being able to run and play with your kids and create lasting memories. How about being there to walk your daughter down the aisle or seeing your grandkids graduate from college? You must find a why that’s meaningful and moves you.

Personally, I’m at a point in my life where my personal growth will become stagnant if I don’t allow abundance to flow more freely. At some point, I labeled myself as the person who offers help, but I’m not someone who’s good at receiving it. This self-constructed box is no longer working for me. I need to cut it open and allow abundance to flow through in every direction.

We can only serve others as much as we’re willing to receive help. If I’m unwilling to accept help and abundance, I’ll eventually hit a plateau with how well I’m able to serve. This is my why.

To become my highest self and fulfill my true potential, I must open myself up to abundance.

What’s your compelling why for your One Word?

Step Three – Define It

I was talking with some friends over the holidays and the topic of words came up. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but I remember saying, “Words are crazy. What do they even mean?”

If you look up a word in the dictionary, it can have a handful of different meanings. Coming off of the holiday season, the word squash comes to mind. I could bake you a delicious squash for dinner. Then I could squash your hopes and dreams. Or maybe I’ll bake you a squash because I feel bad that I squashed your hopes and dreams and then we’ll make up and celebrate by playing a game of squash.

And this doesn’t even consider tone and inflection. But I’m sure you get the point. You have to define what your One Word means.

When I selected confidence as my intention for 2018, I defined confidence as:

Faith and trust that I can rely on myself.
A feeling of self-assurance arising from my appreciation of my own abilities.

Here’s how I’m going to define abundance this year.

If you’ve ever grown a garden, especially in a cold climate, you know how everything seems to peak at the same time. You have tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, eggplant, cabbage, and raspberries by the buckets full. There’s no possible way you could eat it all, so you call your friends, take their orders, and drop off care packages to share.

That’s exactly what abundance means to me. You have enough goodness that you can enjoy as much as you want and still have plenty left over to share.

How would you define your One Word?

Step Four – Set Your Strategy

When I began my year of living wholeheartedly, I created a plan to work through over the course of the year. I created an area of focus for each month that would help me become a more wholehearted human. I set each month’s assignment at the beginning of the year. Then each month I focused on embodying a new task, such as embracing laughter, song, and dance.

For my year of abundance, I’ve broken it down by quarter. During the first quarter of this year, I’m going to focus on connection. This nice slow time between the holidays and summer is perfect to reconnect with those we’ve lost touch with and create new connections.

The second quarter is spring here in the northern hemisphere and with everything greening up, I’m going to focus on financial abundance. Long summer days follow spring so during the third quarter I’ll work on cultivating an abundance of time. And finally, the fourth quarter can be a time of stress and unhealthy holiday habits, so this is when I’ll shift my focus to an abundance of health.

And you were thinking abundance was all about wealth, weren’t you?

What kind of lessons and challenges could you create to keep your One Word top of mind throughout the year?

Step Five – Create Accountability

Since I thought my year of living more wholeheartedly could be useful to others, I decided to share my journey with my email subscribers. Throughout the year, I shared a lesson about wholehearted living on the first Monday of each month. It was a great way to hold myself accountable to my word and to make sure I kept following through. I plan to do the same this year with abundance. You can follow along here.

How could you create accountability with your word? Maybe you could share your progress on social media. Or find someone else who has a word and create an accountability partnership. There are many creative ways to ensure you keep working on your word as the months tick by.

What can you put in place to ensure you stay consistent with your intention?

Setting goals and intentions in the new year is a great way to keep growing so you can enjoy all that life has to offer. But don’t just set it and forget it. Make your One Word part of your daily life and enjoy accelerated growth and abundance this year.

What are your best tips for making sure your intentions and resolutions stick? Share in the comments below or come tell me about it on Facebook.

Achieve your financial goals as a couple even if a saver marries a spender

By Holly Scherer

One of the things people ask me about is personal finance. Those discussions eventually lead to how they deal with this topic as a couple. One of the most common things I see is couples choosing to keep their finances completely or partially separated. And even more common are the couples who combine their finances, but one person takes care of everything while the other keeps their head in the sand.

My husband, Jer, and I used to be the latter. He didn’t “care about money” and handed it over to me to deal with. While not the healthiest partnership, it worked at the time. As we began to learn more about personal finance, we learned a lot about how to work together as a team.

I know that everyone has their own reasons for managing their finances the way they do. I also believe that there’s no “right way” to do it. Yet I know that Jer and I wouldn’t be where we are today had we not worked together as a couple.

So much of how we deal with important things like money comes from old wounds and programming. I imagine it’s difficult for someone who was financially drained by a divorce to be able to trust someone again. And for those of us who grew up with parents who constantly fought about money, it seems easier to avoid the topic altogether. But by sticking to these old habits that you formed to protect yourself, you limit your potential to build the financial freedom you deserve.

In this post, I’m going to share how Jer and I went from disconnected to a true partnership. We’re not perfect by any means, but these lessons have been incredibly helpful to us. I hope they are equally as useful to you.

You know that saying opposites attract? Well, I can assure you that’s spot on for me and Jer. Especially when it comes to our finances.

I’m naturally a saver. It’s really easy for me to fall into the trap of saving every penny and neglect to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Jer, on the other hand, is more of a spender. He’s the one who pushes me to buy that new bike, attend a conference, or take that extra vacation. When we work together as a couple to make big financial decisions, we see better results than had we made them on our own.

Given that opposites attract, another question I hear is, “how do I get my spouse to …?”

I’ve had to learn the hard way that you don’t. The only person you have control over is you. If you redirect your efforts to change your spouse back toward yourself, I guarantee that something will be different a year from now.

As it pertains to financial matters, your spouse will be more willing to follow if you lead by example. Nagging them about their terrible habits isn’t going to change them. Showing them the fun and freedom you’ve created by being intentional with your finances might pique their interest.

Be the light, not the hammer. Click To Tweet

With these tips in mind, here are five ways to start achieving your financial goals as a couple.

1 – DEFINE YOUR COUPLE DREAMS

There are four building blocks to creating a life of freedom. Good health, supportive relationships, financial fitness, and personal growth all work in synchronicity to help us create our best lives and become our highest selves.

Here’s an example of what I mean. When Jer and I set the goal to pay off our mortgage, our health improved because happy hours and dining out were no longer in the budget. Additionally, we spent most of our down-time doing free activities like hiking and biking. These activities brought us closer as a couple, as did setting and achieving goals together. The new knowledge and discipline we acquired from this goal inspired us to keep learning and growing.

As you take steps to create financial freedom, the timeline you live on will expand. You will begin to think long-term. This might inspire you to start dreaming and talking about what you want your life to look like years down the road. You may even set aside a weekend to create a ten-year plan for your dream life. From there you’ll begin to shape your family’s mission and values.

Spending time dreaming, talking, and creating a picture of what you want your life to look like will ensure you’re on the same page as you make important financial decisions together.

2 – CREATE COMMON GOALS

Once you’ve decided what you want your life to look like, begin setting goals as a couple. Ask yourselves what the most important thing you would like to accomplish in the next five years is. Then set one to three attainable goals that you can work on over the next year that will help you get there.

All that Jer and I have accomplished, we’ve done together. Having common goals helps us work as a team when making financial decisions.

3 – FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS

When working on those aforementioned goals make the most of each other’s strengths. When we were paying off our mortgage, I used my planning, organizing, and Excel skills to keep us on track. When Jer experienced frugality fatigue, I used those skills to create a chart that could help him visualize our progress.

With my Type-A tendencies, it’s easy to focus all of my effort on saving and neglect to spend a little and enjoy life. Jer is always the voice of reason who nudges me to spend on the things that bring value to our lives.

Sometimes it’s frustrating to deal with the other person’s saving or spending habits. But a saver and a spender can make a great team. If I would have married another saver, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to enjoy all of the hobbies and adventures Jer and I discovered together. If Jer would have married another spender, they wouldn’t have the money to invest in said hobbies and adventures.

Learn to appreciate what the other brings to the table. Then make the most of their strengths while working as a team to create the life of your dreams.

4 – BUDGET AS A COUPLE

I talk about how to budget in my post on budgeting. In this post, I want to focus on why it’s important.

When you create a budget together, you set the expectation for where your collective money will go before you earn it. If you have a concrete plan that you created together, both individuals will do a better job of sticking to it. Everyone is more reliable at honoring expectations when they’re clear about what those expectations are.

5 – PICK YOUR BATTLES

Sometimes it’s not worth arguing about. Before getting upset and sharing your opinion, look at the big picture. Ask yourself if this will matter five years from now.

There will be times that you need to speak up. If one person isn’t sticking to the plan you created together, you’ll want to address that. Confrontation isn’t always easy, but the resentment that builds when you don’t is arguably worse.

No matter how well you learn to work together, there will be times you simply don’t agree. I was floored when Jer told me how much he was planning to spend on Brazilian Jiu Jujitsu (BJJ). I’m too cheap to pay for a membership at a nice gym with a pool and sauna and this was significantly more. But I saw how important it was to him so I was willing to compromise.

A compromise is defined as “an agreement between two sides who have different opinions, in which each side gives up something it had wanted.”

Rather than focusing on giving something up, I encourage you to look for a win-win. Come to an agreement that makes both parties happy and you’ll be more motivated to work as a team to meet your goals. I agreed to BJJ and Jer agreed to cut some other expenses. It was a win-win because we both got what we wanted.

Bonus Tip

One final tip that has saved us a number of money fights and problems. Set a spending limit and agree to discuss all purchases beyond that limit. While we’ve become more laid back over the years, we discuss most purchases outside of our normal expenses. It’s a respectful and proactive way to stay on the same page.

Working together as a couple to meet your financial goals can and should be fun. By dreaming, looking at the big picture, and setting goals, you’ll be motivated to achieve your biggest dreams together. By learning to see how you compliment and improve each other’s lives, you’ll be more willing to work together and compromise. It won’t happen overnight, but little by little you’ll start to see more peace and balance in your relationship and personal finances.

READY TO CHANGE YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE?

Check out the other posts in this series for everything you need to know to go from surviving to thriving.

Step One – Figure Out Where Your Money Is Going
Step Two – Creating a Budget That Works For You
Step Three – Saving For Financial Freedom
Step Four – Ditch Your Debt
Step Five – Build Wealth on Any Income
Step Six – Achieving Your Goals As A Couple

What has helped you achieve goals as a couple? Share in the comments below or come start a conversation on Facebook.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in August of 2017. It has been completely revamped for accuracy, comprehensiveness, and readability. Please enjoy and feel free to share this newly revised content.

PIN FOR LATER

If you want to get your spouse on board, they’ll be more apt to follow if you lead by example. Nagging them about their terrible habits isn’t going to change them. But showing them the fun and freedom you’ve created by being intentional with your finances might.

Wealth Building for Everyone – Your fifth step to financial freedom

By Holly Scherer

How would life be different if you had enough wealth that you no longer worried about money? Maybe you’d sleep better and have less anxiety. Perhaps you’d be able to put those monthly money fights with your spouse to rest. Or maybe you’d simply take pride in having created a better financial future for your family.

For many of us, it’s easy to believe that kind of financial ease is only for “those people.” You know, the executives, high earners, and people who were born into wealth. But I’ve seen just as many people with modest incomes become millionaires at young ages. No matter where you are right now, you can create a life free from financial worry.

My husband, Jer, and I started from nothing and created financial freedom before we turned 40. There’s nothing special about us. We didn’t come from wealthy families. We didn’t have fancy educations or the right network. We simply decided that we wanted our lives to be different and took intentional steps to make it happen. If we can do it, you can too.

Welcome to Step Five in my series on creating financial freedom. I launched this series last month with a post highlighting the surprising benefits of creating financial freedom. Next, I showed you how to figure out where your money is going. I followed that up with tips to build a better budget. In the third step, I shared everything I know about saving. And the last post was all about paying off debt. Which brings us to step five, building wealth.

WHY BUILD WEALTH

There’s a limiting belief throughout our culture that money is evil. We’ve all heard phrases like, “money is the root of all evil” and “mo money mo problems.” But in and of itself, money isn’t evil at all. It’s amoral. Money is a tool that good people can use to create more good in this world.

By building wealth for you and your family, you’ll create more wealth and abundance in this world. You start within your own family by passing your wisdom and habits down to the next generations. Then you can extend your reach by giving generously to empower others to create better lives for themselves and our planet. And some people start businesses that help their vendors and employees build wealth for their own families. Abundance begets abundance.

That’s not to say that wealth is a reflection of your success or value as a person. And money doesn’t guarantee happiness. The point is that a good person can do more good when they have some amount of financial wealth.

HOW TO MEASURE WEALTH

A high income does not guarantee wealth. There are plenty of people earning $250,000 per year who have nothing to show for it. Neither do fancy homes and expensive cars reflect someone’s level of wealth. In fact, according to Thomas Stanley, author of The Millionaire Next Door, most millionaires don’t drive Maseratis and live in mansions.

I believe that financial wealth is equal to net worth – what you own minus what you owe. For example, you might own a home worth $250,000, two cars worth $30,000, retirement accounts worth $100,000, and an emergency fund of $10,000. The value of what is owned is $390,000.

Now let’s say that the balance on the mortgage of that aforementioned home is $200,000. Then there’s $20,000 owed on the cars, plus $40,000 in student loan debt, and $10,000 on credit cards from that European vacation. That’s $270,000 that is owed, making your net worth in this scenario $120,000.

So how much net worth do you need to be considered wealthy? The answer to that question is really subjective. What’s considered wealthy today compared to 100 years ago is drastically different. And I haven’t discussed this with him, but I imagine that Jeff Bezos and I have very different guidelines for labeling someone wealthy. Around the world, people have diverse ideas of wealth. For the more than 700 million people living on less than $2 a day, what you consider poor, they might consider good fortune.

The point is that you get to decide what wealth means to you. How much would you need to live the exact life you’ve always dreamed of? What amount of financial wealth would you need to do more of what you love and invest in your hobbies and interests? How much money would help you to leave the world a better place? Take some time to think about what those numbers look like for you.

My personal wealth goals are tiered. I know how much I need to get by indefinitely. I also know how much I need to have everything I want, which isn’t really that much. And then I have a reasonable projection to live “the good life.” Hello two waterfront bungalows!

HOW TO BUILD WEALTH

I don’t consider myself an expert investor. That said, I’m happy with our net worth for our age and our average rate of return on our investments (ROI). Like most people, we’ve made a lot of mistakes, but we learned so much along the way.

Had I known what I know now when I was 18, my life would be very different today. I would have started saving and investing earlier. I also would have spent less and saved a lot more.

Jer and I started saving as soon as we had “real jobs.” But we mostly focused on retirement savings in our 401ks. The only things I would change about that would be to invest more and start a Roth IRA sooner. While we did okay with retirement savings, I feel like we missed out on the opportunity to invest outside of that. Our lives would be vastly different had we matched our non-retirement investments with our retirement savings.

But since we can’t change the past the next best thing is to focus on the present. We learned a lot along the way and I’m grateful to have a platform to share that. Here are the nine most important things we’ve learned about building wealth thus far.

9 WAYS TO BUILD LASTING WEALTH

1 –MINDSET COMES FIRST

The way we think and feel about money affects how we deal with money. You will never build wealth if you believe that money is the root of all evil. If you have a scarcity mentality and believe that someone gaining wealth means that someone loses, you can’t have a healthy relationship with money.

To varying degrees, both Jer and I had to create wealth-building mindsets. That meant learning to think long-term. That also meant learning to believe that wealth is good and that we deserve to be wealthy.

There are a couple of books I love on this topic. I recommend reading them in this order. And if you take the time to read them, please allow yourself the opportunity to complete all of the activities.

2 – KNOW YOUR NUMBERS

I’ve been budgeting and tracking our expenses since 2011. I have a pretty good idea how much we need to live our current lifestyle. And based on that history, I can predict how much we’ll need in the future.

You can figure out how much you need by following the tips in the first step. To figure out how much you need down the road, check out the resources I shared in the third step.

But more important than knowing how much you need is understanding your why. Why is it important to you to sacrifice today for a better future tomorrow?

Maybe you want to ensure that your children don’t have to struggle the way you did. Or perhaps you want to leave a legacy by supporting a cause that’s near to your heart. You might simply want to reduce the stress in your life and your marriage. Whatever it is, figure it out as soon as possible. Your why will keep you going when things get hard.

3 – BUDGET

As I said in the second step, whether you make $30,000 a year or $300,000, you need a budget. The less you spend on wants and impulse purchases, the more you can use to build wealth, no matter how much you make.

4 – INVEST

Use your money to make money. You could invest in stocks or mutual funds. Be sure to check out the benefits of investing in retirement accounts that I covered in the third step.

Real estate is another great way to invest. To clarify, the place you live or the family cabin are not the focus here. I’m referring to income-generating properties such as rental homes, vacation rentals, farmland, storage units, or commercial spaces.

When investing, I highly recommend getting help from a professional. While I’m not a pro, I’ve learned a few things along the way.

First, the goal is to buy low and sell high. It seems obvious, but every time there’s a big dip in the market, people start to sell. These dips are when I like to buy. I’ll never forget these wise words from Warren Buffett.

Be Fearful When Others Are Greedy and Greedy When Others Are Fearful. ― Warren Buffett Click To Tweet

I’ve been investing for close to two decades and I’ve seen plenty of ups and just as many downs. I’ve tried to time the market and have failed every time (e.g. the 2016 presidential election). Rather than trying to time the market, I consistently invest money throughout the year.

Which leads to my second piece of advice. Commit to playing the long game. It’s best for us average investors to buy investments with the intent to hold them indefinitely. If we look at the history of the stock market, it’s likely we’ll see success over the long-term. But trying to time the market and get rich quick, rarely works.

I was in college during the dot-com bubble and I’ll never forget my classmates who used credit card and student loans to buy stocks. Tech stocks were booming and when things are going well, we tend to believe that they’ll continue to go well. People were doubling their money quickly and it seemed like a no-brainer. But then the bubble burst and these young kids owed a heck of a lot more than they owned.

This leads to one final tip, don’t buy broke. This is especially important when considering real estate. Don’t invest in real estate unless you have the money to deal with the unexpected. I don’t know why we even call it unexpected. Roofs leak, furnaces die, and sewers back up … all the time. So make sure you’ve taken care of step three before you think about building your real estate empire.

5 – INVEST IN YOURSELF

One of the best ways to build wealth is to increase your income. One of the best ways to increase your income is to invest in yourself.

Some experts recommend investing 10 percent of your income into your education and personal development. I think the most important thing is to find something that has a good return on investment. For example, if you spend $100,000 on a master’s degree that increases your income by one percent, that’s not a great ROI. Unless, of course, you had the money and were doing it solely for the knowledge. On the other hand, you could pick up a marketing book from the library, implement what you learned, and increase your earnings by 20 percent, which is an excellent ROI.

Investments in you could be anything from books to seminars, conferences, online courses, or coaching. These investments don’t need to cost a fortune. The library offers a plethora of free resources. Have you considered becoming an apprentice or taking a community education class?

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that investments always need to be career-related. We look for opportunities to invest in our marriage regularly. And Jer invests in training in Brazilian Jiu Jujitsu. The benefits of both of these investments flow over into every other area of our lives.

6 – BUILD A BUSINESS

This is something I wish we would have started earlier in life. There are many great reasons to start a business or side hustle. Small businesses are a wonderful way to increase your income and create more freedom and security in your life.

Then there are the tax benefits! I like the way Robert Kiyosaki explains this in his book Rich Dad Poor Dad. He uses the Cashflow Quadrant to show how the tax laws in the US make it more challenging for employees to get rich while investors are able to make their money and taxes work for them.

If you’re thinking about starting a business or side hustle, I love the books The $100 Startup and Side Hustle by Chris Guillebeau. He also has a podcast named Side Hustle School with great lessons and business ideas.

7 – ASK FOR HELP

When it comes to taxes and investing, seek the help of a professional with a proven track record. You wouldn’t take diet advice from an overweight man, but I constantly see people taking financial advice from other broke people. Talk is cheap so when you interview financial advisors, I recommend asking about their personal portfolio.

8 – PAY ATTENTION

Review your monthly and annual statements. I’ve taken it a step further and have been tracking every account monthly in an excel grid since 2012. It only takes a few minutes each month and helps me to identify issues that might need further review. More importantly, it helps us see how far we’ve come and gives us the opportunity to celebrate our accomplishments.

This is your future we’re talking about. You owe it to yourself to take a few minutes each month to stay on top of it. And don’t be afraid to change what isn’t working.

9 – FIND BALANCE

Go all in, but don’t forget to live your life. When we decided to pay off our mortgage, we cut everything we could so that we’d be able to knock it out as quickly as possible. That took two and a half years. While we weren’t going out to dinner and brunch every weekend those years, we did manage to take a nice long trip to Greece.

We never really know how long we have. Anything could happen and today could be our last. Or we could live to be 121 and need a fat and healthy nest egg. That’s why I believe it’s important to find a healthy balance between enjoying your life today while building a solid foundation for your future.

Stop waiting to create financial freedom. You owe it to yourself to make your hard-earned income work for you. Whichever step you’re on, I challenge you to pick one small thing you can take action on today. Being intentional today will change your family’s future forever.

READY TO CHANGE YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE?

Check out the entire series to learn everything you need to know to go from surviving to thriving.

Step One – Figure Out Where Your Money Is Going
Step Two – Create a Budget That Works For You
Step Three – Saving For Financial Freedom
Step Four – Ditch Your Debt
Step Five – Build Wealth on Any Income
Step Six – Achieving Your Goals As A Couple

How could creating wealth change your family’s future? Share in the comments below or come strike up a conversation on Facebook.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in July of 2017. It has been completely revamped for accuracy, comprehensiveness, and readability. Please enjoy and feel free to share this newly revised content.

Transformation

What is a no-spend month?

Our first try

How did we do?

What we learned

1 – How to be open to receive

2 – You don’t need much to get by

3 – Life is abundant

4 – Creative solutions abound

5 – You’re more disciplined than you know

How a no-spend month could help you

1 – Change your habits

2 – Goodbye impulse purchases

3 – See your potential.

Tips for a successful no-spend month

1 – Choose a slow month

2 – Plan ahead

3 – Define your why

4 – Tackle it as a team

5 – Enlist your friends

6 – Avoid temptation

The importance of filling your cup

Make it a habit

What to read

7 Books everyone should read

The 10 best books I read last year

6 – The Immortal Diamond + Falling Upward

How to eat an elephant

Here’s how I became more wholehearted.

Step One – You Are Worthy

Step Two – Just Say No

Step Three – Let Go

1 – I catch myself.

2 – I ask what I can learn.

3 – It’s not about you.

Step Four – Self-Compassion

Step Five – Resilience

Step Six – Be Grateful

Step Seven – Have Faith

Step Eight – Stop Comparing

Step Nine – Rest

Step Ten – Keep Calm

Step Eleven – Find Meaning

Step Twelve – Laugh Out Loud

1 – Switch up your daily routine.

2 – Schedule downtime.

3 – Tap into your inner child.

Here are three more things that helped me become more wholehearted this year.

Step Thirteen – Talk about it

Step Fourteen – Get Outside

Step Fifteen – Read

Why should living wholeheartedly be important to you?

Step One – Measure it

Step Two – Name Your Why

Step Three – Define It

Step Four – Set Your Strategy

Step Five – Create Accountability

With these tips in mind, here are five ways to start achieving your financial goals as a couple.

1 – DEFINE YOUR COUPLE DREAMS

2 – CREATE COMMON GOALS

3 – FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS

4 – BUDGET AS A COUPLE

5 – PICK YOUR BATTLES

Bonus Tip

READY TO CHANGE YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE?

PIN FOR LATER

WHY BUILD WEALTH

HOW TO MEASURE WEALTH

HOW TO BUILD WEALTH

9 WAYS TO BUILD LASTING WEALTH

1 –MINDSET COMES FIRST

2 – KNOW YOUR NUMBERS

3 – BUDGET

4 – INVEST

5 – INVEST IN YOURSELF

6 – BUILD A BUSINESS

7 – ASK FOR HELP

8 – PAY ATTENTION

9 – FIND BALANCE

READY TO CHANGE YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE?