Holly Scherer

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Wealth Building for Everyone – Your fifth step to financial freedom

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How would life be different if you had enough wealth that you no longer worried about money? Maybe you’d sleep better and have less anxiety. Perhaps you’d be able to put those monthly money fights with your spouse to rest. Or maybe you’d simply take pride in having created a better financial future for your family.

For many of us, it’s easy to believe that kind of financial ease is only for “those people.” You know, the executives, high earners, and people who were born into wealth. But I’ve seen just as many people with modest incomes become millionaires at young ages. No matter where you are right now, you can create a life free from financial worry.

My husband, Jer, and I started from nothing and created financial freedom before we turned 40. There’s nothing special about us. We didn’t come from wealthy families. We didn’t have fancy educations or the right network. We simply decided that we wanted our lives to be different and took intentional steps to make it happen. If we can do it, you can too.

Welcome to Step Five in my series on creating financial freedom. I launched this series last month with a post highlighting the surprising benefits of creating financial freedom. Next, I showed you how to figure out where your money is going. I followed that up with tips to build a better budget. In the third step, I shared everything I know about saving. And the last post was all about paying off debt. Which brings us to step five, building wealth.

WHY BUILD WEALTH

There’s a limiting belief throughout our culture that money is evil. We’ve all heard phrases like, “money is the root of all evil” and “mo money mo problems.” But in and of itself, money isn’t evil at all. It’s amoral. Money is a tool that good people can use to create more good in this world.

By building wealth for you and your family, you’ll create more wealth and abundance in this world. You start within your own family by passing your wisdom and habits down to the next generations. Then you can extend your reach by giving generously to empower others to create better lives for themselves and our planet. And some people start businesses that help their vendors and employees build wealth for their own families. Abundance begets abundance.

That’s not to say that wealth is a reflection of your success or value as a person. And money doesn’t guarantee happiness. The point is that a good person can do more good when they have some amount of financial wealth.

HOW TO MEASURE WEALTH

A high income does not guarantee wealth. There are plenty of people earning $250,000 per year who have nothing to show for it. Neither do fancy homes and expensive cars reflect someone’s level of wealth. In fact, according to Thomas Stanley, author of The Millionaire Next Door, most millionaires don’t drive Maseratis and live in mansions.

I believe that financial wealth is equal to net worth – what you own minus what you owe. For example, you might own a home worth $250,000, two cars worth $30,000, retirement accounts worth $100,000, and an emergency fund of $10,000. The value of what is owned is $390,000.

Now let’s say that the balance on the mortgage of that aforementioned home is $200,000. Then there’s $20,000 owed on the cars, plus $40,000 in student loan debt, and $10,000 on credit cards from that European vacation. That’s $270,000 that is owed, making your net worth in this scenario $120,000.

So how much net worth do you need to be considered wealthy? The answer to that question is really subjective. What’s considered wealthy today compared to 100 years ago is drastically different. And I haven’t discussed this with him, but I imagine that Jeff Bezos and I have very different guidelines for labeling someone wealthy. Around the world, people have diverse ideas of wealth. For the more than 700 million people living on less than $2 a day, what you consider poor, they might consider good fortune.

The point is that you get to decide what wealth means to you. How much would you need to live the exact life you’ve always dreamed of? What amount of financial wealth would you need to do more of what you love and invest in your hobbies and interests? How much money would help you to leave the world a better place? Take some time to think about what those numbers look like for you.

My personal wealth goals are tiered. I know how much I need to get by indefinitely. I also know how much I need to have everything I want, which isn’t really that much. And then I have a reasonable projection to live “the good life.” Hello two waterfront bungalows!

HOW TO BUILD WEALTH

I don’t consider myself an expert investor. That said, I’m happy with our net worth for our age and our average rate of return on our investments (ROI). Like most people, we’ve made a lot of mistakes, but we learned so much along the way.

Had I known what I know now when I was 18, my life would be very different today. I would have started saving and investing earlier. I also would have spent less and saved a lot more.

Jer and I started saving as soon as we had “real jobs.” But we mostly focused on retirement savings in our 401ks. The only things I would change about that would be to invest more and start a Roth IRA sooner. While we did okay with retirement savings, I feel like we missed out on the opportunity to invest outside of that. Our lives would be vastly different had we matched our non-retirement investments with our retirement savings.

But since we can’t change the past the next best thing is to focus on the present. We learned a lot along the way and I’m grateful to have a platform to share that. Here are the nine most important things we’ve learned about building wealth thus far.

9 WAYS TO BUILD LASTING WEALTH

1 –MINDSET COMES FIRST

The way we think and feel about money affects how we deal with money. You will never build wealth if you believe that money is the root of all evil. If you have a scarcity mentality and believe that someone gaining wealth means that someone loses, you can’t have a healthy relationship with money.

To varying degrees, both Jer and I had to create wealth-building mindsets. That meant learning to think long-term. That also meant learning to believe that wealth is good and that we deserve to be wealthy.

There are a couple of books I love on this topic. I recommend reading them in this order. And if you take the time to read them, please allow yourself the opportunity to complete all of the activities.

2 – KNOW YOUR NUMBERS

I’ve been budgeting and tracking our expenses since 2011. I have a pretty good idea how much we need to live our current lifestyle. And based on that history, I can predict how much we’ll need in the future.

You can figure out how much you need by following the tips in the first step. To figure out how much you need down the road, check out the resources I shared in the third step.

But more important than knowing how much you need is understanding your why. Why is it important to you to sacrifice today for a better future tomorrow?

Maybe you want to ensure that your children don’t have to struggle the way you did. Or perhaps you want to leave a legacy by supporting a cause that’s near to your heart. You might simply want to reduce the stress in your life and your marriage. Whatever it is, figure it out as soon as possible. Your why will keep you going when things get hard.

3 – BUDGET

As I said in the second step, whether you make $30,000 a year or $300,000, you need a budget. The less you spend on wants and impulse purchases, the more you can use to build wealth, no matter how much you make.

4 – INVEST

Use your money to make money. You could invest in stocks or mutual funds. Be sure to check out the benefits of investing in retirement accounts that I covered in the third step.

Real estate is another great way to invest. To clarify, the place you live or the family cabin are not the focus here. I’m referring to income-generating properties such as rental homes, vacation rentals, farmland, storage units, or commercial spaces.

When investing, I highly recommend getting help from a professional. While I’m not a pro, I’ve learned a few things along the way.

First, the goal is to buy low and sell high. It seems obvious, but every time there’s a big dip in the market, people start to sell. These dips are when I like to buy. I’ll never forget these wise words from Warren Buffett.

Be Fearful When Others Are Greedy and Greedy When Others Are Fearful. ― Warren Buffett Click To Tweet

I’ve been investing for close to two decades and I’ve seen plenty of ups and just as many downs. I’ve tried to time the market and have failed every time (e.g. the 2016 presidential election). Rather than trying to time the market, I consistently invest money throughout the year.

Which leads to my second piece of advice. Commit to playing the long game. It’s best for us average investors to buy investments with the intent to hold them indefinitely. If we look at the history of the stock market, it’s likely we’ll see success over the long-term. But trying to time the market and get rich quick, rarely works.

I was in college during the dot-com bubble and I’ll never forget my classmates who used credit card and student loans to buy stocks. Tech stocks were booming and when things are going well, we tend to believe that they’ll continue to go well. People were doubling their money quickly and it seemed like a no-brainer. But then the bubble burst and these young kids owed a heck of a lot more than they owned.

This leads to one final tip, don’t buy broke. This is especially important when considering real estate. Don’t invest in real estate unless you have the money to deal with the unexpected. I don’t know why we even call it unexpected. Roofs leak, furnaces die, and sewers back up … all the time. So make sure you’ve taken care of step three before you think about building your real estate empire.

5 – INVEST IN YOURSELF

One of the best ways to build wealth is to increase your income. One of the best ways to increase your income is to invest in yourself.

Some experts recommend investing 10 percent of your income into your education and personal development. I think the most important thing is to find something that has a good return on investment. For example, if you spend $100,000 on a master’s degree that increases your income by one percent, that’s not a great ROI. Unless, of course, you had the money and were doing it solely for the knowledge. On the other hand, you could pick up a marketing book from the library, implement what you learned, and increase your earnings by 20 percent, which is an excellent ROI.

Investments in you could be anything from books to seminars, conferences, online courses, or coaching. These investments don’t need to cost a fortune. The library offers a plethora of free resources. Have you considered becoming an apprentice or taking a community education class?

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that investments always need to be career-related. We look for opportunities to invest in our marriage regularly. And Jer invests in training in Brazilian Jiu Jujitsu. The benefits of both of these investments flow over into every other area of our lives.

6 – BUILD A BUSINESS

This is something I wish we would have started earlier in life. There are many great reasons to start a business or side hustle. Small businesses are a wonderful way to increase your income and create more freedom and security in your life.

Then there are the tax benefits! I like the way Robert Kiyosaki explains this in his book Rich Dad Poor Dad. He uses the Cashflow Quadrant to show how the tax laws in the US make it more challenging for employees to get rich while investors are able to make their money and taxes work for them.

If you’re thinking about starting a business or side hustle, I love the books The $100 Startup and Side Hustle by Chris Guillebeau. He also has a podcast named Side Hustle School with great lessons and business ideas.

7 – ASK FOR HELP

When it comes to taxes and investing, seek the help of a professional with a proven track record. You wouldn’t take diet advice from an overweight man, but I constantly see people taking financial advice from other broke people. Talk is cheap so when you interview financial advisors, I recommend asking about their personal portfolio.

8 – PAY ATTENTION

Review your monthly and annual statements. I’ve taken it a step further and have been tracking every account monthly in an excel grid since 2012. It only takes a few minutes each month and helps me to identify issues that might need further review. More importantly, it helps us see how far we’ve come and gives us the opportunity to celebrate our accomplishments.

This is your future we’re talking about. You owe it to yourself to take a few minutes each month to stay on top of it. And don’t be afraid to change what isn’t working.

9 – FIND BALANCE

Go all in, but don’t forget to live your life. When we decided to pay off our mortgage, we cut everything we could so that we’d be able to knock it out as quickly as possible. That took two and a half years. While we weren’t going out to dinner and brunch every weekend those years, we did manage to take a nice long trip to Greece.

We never really know how long we have. Anything could happen and today could be our last. Or we could live to be 121 and need a fat and healthy nest egg. That’s why I believe it’s important to find a healthy balance between enjoying your life today while building a solid foundation for your future.

Stop waiting to create financial freedom. You owe it to yourself to make your hard-earned income work for you. Whichever step you’re on, I challenge you to pick one small thing you can take action on today. Being intentional today will change your family’s future forever.

READY TO CHANGE YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE?

Check out the entire series to learn everything you need to know to go from surviving to thriving.

Step One – Figure Out Where Your Money Is Going
Step Two – Create a Budget That Works For You
Step Three – Saving For Financial Freedom
Step Four – Ditch Your Debt
Step Five – Build Wealth on Any Income
Step Six – Achieving Your Goals As A Couple

How could creating wealth change your family’s future? Share in the comments below or come strike up a conversation on Facebook.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in July of 2017. It has been completely revamped for accuracy, comprehensiveness, and readability. Please enjoy and feel free to share this newly revised content.

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Build a better budget – Your second step to financial freedom

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Last week I showed you how to figure out where your money is going with some simple tips to track it. Today I want to help you learn how to tell your money what to do by building a budget.

Before we dive in, I want to let you in on a little secret. It’s not really about the budget or the money.

It’s about not worrying what will happen if you experience a job loss, have an emergency, or your next check doesn’t come through. Building a budget means fewer money fights and more peace in your marriage. A good budget allows you to enjoy life now while preparing for a secure future.

If this sounds exciting to you, keep reading and learn how to make budgeting work for you. I share two perspectives, one of which you’ll likely relate to. I share how I budget as the geeky, Excel loving, saver. Then my husband, Jeremiah, who rounds down by tens and doesn’t mind spending now and again shares his very best not budgety budgeting tips.

Creating a budget changed our lives!

My husband, Jer, and I have always been okay with money. We’ve never had credit card debt and started saving early. But I still felt stressed at the end of each month trying to balance it all. Then in 2011, I found myself ready to make a change.

I’d been tracking our spending which helped us cut back and freed up more of our income. But I was hesitant to start budgeting. It seemed restrictive and Jer is not a fan of accurate accounting.

More powerful than any of these fears though, was my longing for financial freedom. So I decided to give it a go. Eight years and seven months later, our monthly budget is still going strong.

It didn’t take long to realize that when you become intentional in one area of your life, you will begin to see success in other areas. As we began making progress toward financial freedom, we became healthier, built better relationships, changed careers, and became better humans.

Budgeting also brought new hobbies and interests into our lives. To save money on food, we started gardening. In lieu of dining out, we became great cooks. Looking to save money on travel we became avid campers. While searching for free activities to do together we became passionate about cycling. By cutting our TV and entertainment budget, we read more books. And by working on and achieving goals together, we became closer in our marriage.

As I said, it’s about so much more than money.

What is a Budget?

If I had to tell you how to build wealth and create financial freedom in one sentence, I’d tell you to spend less than you make. To do that, you need to know how much you’re making and how much you’re spending. The best way to accomplish that is with a budget.

The word budget is sometimes synonymous with broke, cheap, or poor quality. If you needed heart surgery, would you do a Google search for a budget heart surgeon? Probably not. So before we move on, let’s define the term budget as it pertains to this post and your life.

To put it simply, a budget helps you decide what will happen with your money before you get it. A budget helps you take your power back by making you the boss of your income. You create the plan and tell your money what you want it to do for you.

As we move up in our careers and income, it’s easy to think we don’t need a budget. Imagine if your income doubled overnight. There’s no way you’d spend that money, would you? I don’t think I would, but we all know how our lifestyle increases along with our income.

Case in point, I don’t know a single person my age who is living like they’re still in college, surviving on ramen noodles and driving a rusty old beater with windows you have to manually roll down. And that’s why whether you’re making $30,000 per year or $300,000, YOU NEED A BUDGET!

Whether you’re making $30,000 per year or $300,000, YOU NEED A BUDGET! Click To Tweet

There are essentially three things you can do with money. You can spend it, save it, or give it away. A balanced budget and financial plan will allow you to do all three.

Pay Yourself First

When you start your budget, you’ll want to make sure that your basic needs are taken care of first. This includes food, water, shelter, clothing, and work-related expenses. Anything that you need to survive should be included here.

If you have money left over after these expenses are covered. The next thing you need to do is pay yourself first. Paying yourself means allocating money for your future before it gets used on your wants like fancy vacations or dining out.

Here’s the thing. People are living longer than ever. But you’re probably not going to be able to work in the same capacity that long. So how will you make ends meet when the time comes and that income isn’t coming in?

Social Security isn’t enough to make ends meet for most people. Especially if you have debt payments, which most retired people do. And I don’t need to tell you that nothing is a sure thing. The markets, inflation, and even Social Security are all unpredictable. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing you had a safety net waiting for whatever circumstances your future might bring?

Depending on where you are on your financial journey, paying yourself first could include anything from an emergency fund, retirement savings, funding an HSA, or savings for cars, vacations and remodeling projects.

I’ll cover saving in-depth in an upcoming post. So for now, when you’re creating your budget, I just want you to remember to pay yourself first.

Pay it Forward

The next section in my budget is charitable giving. Sharing your good fortune each month is a wonderful way to express gratitude for all that you’ve been blessed with. It’s not a requirement, but I think you’ll feel better when you give. If you’re new to giving, start small and ramp it up as you create more freedom in your budget.

I encourage you to not wait until you’re a millionaire or completely debt-free to start giving. You’ll feel the benefits of giving no matter how much you can donate. To learn more about the benefits of giving, check out this post.

Wants vs needs

I wrote about wants and needs in the previous post about tracking your spending. Needs are the things that are essential for your survival: food, shelter, utilities, and expenses to get you to and from work. When you’re creating your budget, be sure and cover your needs before your wants.

If there’s money left over after covering your needs, paying yourself first, and giving, it perfectly acceptable to spend money on your wants. We like to follow the rule that we only spend money on things that bring us joy.

When we decided to pay off our mortgage as quickly as possible, we cut back on all of our wants. Can you guess what we realized? We discovered that we didn’t care about most of the things we were spending money on. There are so many things we cut that haven’t been added back like ordering pizza and takeout, Sunday brunch, and fancy clothes.

The beauty of this rule is that you get to decide what that means for you. Our wants budget goes to outdoor gear and clothing. We enjoy having nice tents, sleeping bags, and even new snowshoes. For you that might mean building a beautiful home where you can entertain friends and family. You get to decide what it is that brings you joy.

Only spend money on things that bring you joy! Click To Tweet

Expect the Unexpected

Unexpected expenses are going to pop up each month. Maybe it’s a gift you need to buy for a last-minute party, dinner with a friend who’s visiting from out of town, or a spendy parking ticket. Surprises happen so often that they shouldn’t be a surprise.

Setting aside a little cash each month to cover these expenses is a great way to make them less unexpected. Leaving some margin could actually help you stick to your budget. Anything you don’t use from this category can be added to your savings at the end of the month. But resist the urge to spend this money on lattes, take out, or a sale at your favorite online store. Otherwise, it defeats the purpose of having margin in your budget.

Budgeting Tips and Tricks

As long as I’ve been budgeting, I’ve been using Excel. I love it because it gives me a lot of data for planning and the ability to spot trouble areas. It also helps us see our accomplishments and celebrate how far we’ve come.

This is the Excel grid I’ve used since 2011. Feel free to download it and make it your own.

If you don’t love Excel or know how to use it that’s totally cool. You still need to budget. In the last post, I listed four apps that will do most of the work for you. You can find the list here.

A notebook and pen also work great! There are a many benefits to physically writing things down. Not to mention you can have as much fun with it as you want.

Maybe using cash is the budgeting trick for you. Google the envelope system for thousands of tips to get started. This system, made popular by the book The Total Money Makeover, is a cash-based system. The idea is to create an envelope for each budget category and put the exact amount you budgeted in it. When the cash is gone it’s gone for the month or pay period.

Last but not least, automate everything you can. Our retirement savings is set up to automatically transfer each month. Every bill that can be paid automatically, is. This is a great way to make sure we actually pay ourselves first. It also eliminates any potential late fees and makes my life a whole lot easier.

Advice from the Free Spirited Spender

I’ve told you how saving and Excel grids are my love languages. Now let’s talk about those of you who cringe at the mention of either of those words.

My husband, Jer, is more of a spender and not quite as detailed. He doesn’t understand the importance of reporting whether something was $31.49 or $31.50. As you can imagine, this drives me nuts. But even without natural attention to detail, he’s learned how to make budgeting work for him. Here are some of his best tips.

1 – Stay on Top of It

Save your receipts and compile them weekly, not monthly. You’ll be less apt to stay on top of it if you let them pile up. When you compile your spending, you’ll recognize any frivolous patterns that might need adjustments. This is especially important if budgeting is new to you. Revisit your budget and monitor your spending often.

2 – Prioritize

When you get paid, allocate money to pay your bills first. Then pay yourself second. Always keep an emergency fund and make it difficult to access. You could set up a second bank account and say no to the convenience of an ATM card and checks.

3 – Cash it In

Jer suggests paying for everything in cash and limiting how much you have you so that you don’t overspend. He also suggests carrying a credit card for emergencies, like car troubles. If you are a sucker for impulse purchases, I suggest forgoing the credit card.

4 – Ask for Help

We are all wired differently. Some people are naturally better at this budgeting stuff. Ask those people to help you get started. Or hire a coach.

If someone offers to help you out, please take it seriously. They won’t expect you to be perfect. But they’ll be disappointed if they give you hours of their time and you don’t follow through.

Sticking With It

No matter how much you make or how much you have saved, I believe you should always keep a budget. Here are some tips to reap the rewards for years to come.

1 – Don’t Give Up

It takes a while to learn this stuff. Even if you’re a super geek like me. You might screw up, and that’s totally fine. That’s how we learn. Don’t focus on the mistakes you’ve made or how slow you’re going. Take note of how far you’ve come, celebrate your accomplishments, and keep going.

2 – Learn to Say No

It’s not easy to tell ourselves no. We humans are experts at justifying anything, so here’s a great tip.

WAIT!

If you want to buy something that’s not in this month’s budget, make a note to add it next month. That cute dress will probably be on clearance next month anyway. Or even better, you might decide that you don’t need it at all.

3 – Get Creative

If your entertainment budget is gone for the month and a friend asks you out for lunch, ask if you can schedule it for next month. Or maybe you could pack a picnic lunch and meet in a local park instead. How about offering to host a happy hour at your house later in the week? There are a million ways to make it work and have fun without spending money you don’t have.

4 – Remember Your Why

Remember why you’re doing this in the first place. Maybe you’re sick and tired of worrying about making ends meet. Or perhaps one more money fight with your spouse will push you over the edge. If you have kids, maybe you want to lead by example so that they don’t have to suffer the way that you did.

Decide why you want this and think about that why as often as you can.

5 – Believe

Believe that you have the discipline and persistence to do this. Believe that you deserve it. In the words of Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

6 – Have Fun

Learning to budget and finding new ways to save money can be a lot of fun. Enlist some of your like-minded friends to join you on your journey. Find new ways to live life to the fullest without spending your life savings. If you treat budgeting like a burden, you probably won’t stick with it. So have fun and enjoy the journey.

Ready to change your financial future? Check out these posts to learn everything you need to know to go from surviving to thriving.

Step One – Figure Out Where The Eff Your Money Is Going
Step Two – Create a Budget That Works For You
Step Three – Save For Financial Freedom
Step Four – Ditch Your Debt
Step Five – Build Wealth on Any Income
Step Six – Achieve Your Goals As A Couple

Need help building a spending plan? I can help.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in May of 2017. It has been completely revamped for accuracy, comprehensiveness, and readability. Please enjoy and feel free to share this newly revised content.

10 Surprising Benefits of Creating Financial Freedom

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What does financial freedom mean to you? For years I thought it was a certain dollar amount. And while I still have numbers tied to different levels of financial freedom, the concept of freedom means so much more to me.

As my husband and I achieved different levels of freedom over the years, I began to realize it wasn’t really about the money. It was more about the feeling.

We live in a society where money is the medium of exchange so I’m not saying that money isn’t important. We all need a certain level of income to be able to survive. Beyond survival, the more financial margin we have, the easier some areas of our lives become. But beyond a certain level, more money doesn’t make us happier.

For me, financial freedom is about money. It’s about living debt-free, saving and investing, building assets, and spending on things that bring us joy.

But financial freedom also means not staying stuck in a job you hate because you need the paycheck. It means living with integrity because you’re not ruled by fear. Financial freedom means not having to worry about the furnace going out or fighting with your spouse when they have to buy an expensive flight to attend a funeral out of town.

When you have your finances in order you’ll enjoy less stress, better health, and a more peaceful work and home life. You’ll be able to do more of what you love and be free from worry and guilt.

What would financial freedom mean to you? How would it feel? And how would your life look different 10 years from now if you could (and you can) make financial freedom a reality?

The Day it Happened

My husband, Jeremiah, and I got up early that sunny Saturday in May of 2014 to do something we never dreamed of until three years earlier. I remember feeling scared, nervous, and excited all at once. We got ready and drove to the closest branch of our credit union. It was unexpectedly busy when we arrived, so we stood in line for what felt like an eternity. We were so anxious that we didn’t say a word to one another.

When it was our turn, the teller asked, “How can I help you today?” Not wanting to call attention to myself, I quietly whispered, “We’d like to pay off our mortgage.” “Oh, that’s exciting,” she shrieked, “just go over there and I’ll send a banker right over to help you.”

Jer and I sat down and silently waited for the young banker. When he sat down, he confirmed that we were there to pay off our mortgage and proceeded to write down the amount we owed. I had the biggest pit in my stomach. What if something happened and we needed this money? Were we making a huge mistake?

Nope, I told myself, this is what we came to do. We’d been working toward this goal for years and today was the day. I had to bite the bullet and write the check.

In addition to making extra payments, we had also been stashing all of our extra cash into a money market account over the previous three years. This was a huge sum of money for us and I had to triple check to make sure I had all of the numbers correct.

I slowly handed the check over to the banker. I prayed one more time that nothing would go wrong since a big chunk of our safety net was now gone. The banker entered some notes into his computer and said, “Okay, you’re all set.”

We stood up and he shook our hands to congratulate us. Then he rang a bell and announced to the entire bank that “Holly and Jeremiah just paid off their mortgage.” Everyone clapped and we made our way back to the car. It was a surreal moment.

When we were back in the car, Jer asked, “how does it feel?” “I don’t know,” I responded. “How do you feel?” I asked. “It’s weird,” he said, “hard to believe. It feels good, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”

It still feels kind of weird all these years later. We grew up believing that debt is something you have to deal with until you die. You buy a starter house, then upgrade to a bigger one, then a nicer one, and don’t forget the cars, and furniture, and home improvements. I’ve always had goals to be wealthy, but up until our mid-thirties, I never considered I could achieve that with zero debt.

That One Day Changed Everything

We decided to pay off our mortgage three years earlier because we saw it as a way to get us closer to our long-term financial goals. We never imagined how much it would change our entire lives. That one decision has become the foundation for much of what I coach and write about, building a foundation to do more of what you love.

First and foremost, I believe that we need to feel healthy enough to have the energy to focus on the things that are most important to us. I believe that good health includes our bodies, minds, and spirits. Our finances affect our stress level as well as the food and activities we’re able to afford.

The next thing we need is to have healthy and supportive relationships throughout our lives. This is especially important when you’re trying to make big changes in your life. Whether it’s your health or finances, the right people will cheer you on along the way.

Everyone I know who has achieved a big financial goal has at least one story about naysayers who made fun of them or tore them down. That’s why having at least one person who will cheer you on is so important. If you don’t have that person, I’ll be there. I love getting texts of $22,000 wads of cash that friends are using to pay for a new roof. And what’s more exciting than a picture of a credit card with a zero balance?

The next part of being able to do more of what you love is building some level of financial freedom. This is going to mean something different for everyone. Without getting into specifics, I’m going to assume that we all want to live a good life without financial worries.

The final thing I talk about is personal growth and lifelong learning. If you’re alive, you’ve got more to learn. I’m a completely different person than I was 20, 10, 5, and even 2 years ago. The more I learn and grow, the more I realize there is to learn. I recognize that I may have just made that sound overwhelming and intimidating so let me remind you that it’s personal growth. That means you get to decide what that looks like to you.

In theory, it probably makes sense to start with health. However, we found ourselves focusing on financial freedom first. Not long after, our health became a priority and is one of my three nonnegotiables to this day. Relationships followed and continue to be a lifelong area of growth. And personal growth has been a part of the entire journey.

Each of these areas are interconnected. Heck, every aspect of our lives are interconnected. It’s hard to love your whole life if everything is compartmentalized. I’m sure you will also find that as you make progress in one area, you’ll simultaneously advance in others.

I also feel like it’s important to mention that our lives are not perfect by any means. It’s likely that we connected through social media or that you follow one of my feeds. I really try to show real life, but I know it can look like I’m just showing my highlight reel. I consider that often and try my best to be real.

The truth is that even though we have a certain level of financial freedom, we still have stress, worry, and other struggles. The difference is that the struggles we face today are not comparable to what they were 5 to 10 years ago. Since we’re working from a stronger foundation, today’s concerns are more growth-focused. It’s a fun, interesting, and challenging place to be.

Having lived with and without debt, we wouldn’t choose to live any other way. There is absolutely nothing money could buy that would make me feel as good as financial freedom feels. Living debt-free has been an indescribable blessing to our life and our marriage. So without further ado, here are the top 10 ways financial freedom has changed our lives.

10 SURPRISING BENEFITS OF CREATING FINANCIAL FREEDOM

10 – YOU’LL BE FREE TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, NOT WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

I recently heard a psychologist talk about reframing the things you have to do, as things you want to do. Research shows that people are more apt to stick to habits, like working out and eating healthy, if they view it as something they are choosing to do.

Since becoming completely debt-free, most of what we do is stuff we’re choosing. I don’t have to grow a garden. I choose to put in the work because we enjoy having nutrient-rich organic produce in our backyard. In our professional lives, we no longer feel stuck working in jobs or with customers who are not a good fit, just to make ends meet.

When you have debt, at least part of your life is going to revolve around doing what you need to do to make those payments. The more debt you have, the more stuck you feel.

When you’re not worried about making payments, you can set your life up to enjoy more of what you love each day. For most of us, those are the little things like going for a morning run, enjoying daily family dinners, or simply winding down with a good book after a fulfilling day of work.

9 – YOU’LL MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON LONG-TERM GOALS, NOT IMMEDIATE SURVIVAL.

The way we make decisions today is very different from how we made them as little as five years ago. When we had big debt payments that were due each month, our tendency was to not rock the boat. We were focused on a short-term false sense of security. We just needed that next check to come in.

Today we look at things very differently. Our timeframe for thinking, planning, and taking action has extended out much further. Conversations often begin with where we’d like to be ten years from now and what we need to do today to get there.

8 – YOU’LL IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY AND SPENDING.

Other than politics, I can’t think of a subject that creates a more visceral reaction than money. It’s simply a medium of exchange. It’s a tool that people use to build lives, businesses, and create change. But the topics of student loans, wages, and taxes make some of the most rational people fly off the handle.

As Jer and I have become more secure in our finances, we’ve changed how we experience money. We have less of an emotional attachment to money. We see it as a tool to create a life that’s meaningful to us. Not something that defines or controls us.

Our goal to pay down a large amount of debt quickly forced us to reframe how we saw wants versus needs. In 2013 we spent a mere $455 on clothes and shoes for both of us. During that journey, we discovered that very little of what we used to spend money on were things we actually cared about. Today we choose to only spend money on things that bring us joy.

The most significant change, however, was learning to not care about impressing others. When I entered the working world after college, I thought the goal was to show how successful I was by wearing expensive clothes and driving a nice car (with payments of course). When we purchased our most recent vehicle (with cash), we went with the most practical choice instead of buying something that would make me look like I “made it.”

We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like. ― @DaveRamsey ‏ Click To Tweet

7 – YOU’LL CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE ABOUT SACRIFICE.

Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time I made a sacrifice. Everything I do is a choice. How’s that for empowerment?

As I mentioned, we cut most of our spending during those three years we were paying down debt. And you know what? Those sacrifices weren’t as painful as we expected. In many cases, they were kind of fun.

Countless spending cuts that were meant to be temporary haven’t been added back to our current budget. We continue to camp because we enjoy it, not because it’s the cheapest way to vacation. We’ve come to prefer eating at home and so our dining and entertainment budget hasn’t increased much. We found a new way to live life and we’re enjoying every bit of it.

6 – YOU’LL HAVE MORE MONEY AND FINANCIAL PEACE.

Six months after becoming completely debt-free, Jer and I began making arrangements for me to leave my corporate job. The numbers worked out on paper, but I worried about losing an entire income. After I left, other things fell into place but there was still a significant difference in our monthly income.

It didn’t take long to realize that even though we were making less, we were able to manage what was coming in better than when we made more and had more payments. It’s amazing what you can do with your income when you’re not using most of it to pay back the bank.

No matter who you are or how much you make, stuff happens! When you’re not spending most of your paycheck on payments, you can set some aside for unexpected expenses. When you need a new furnace, a new roof, or a new car, it’s a minor inconvenience instead of a disaster. This new way of being will bring you a greater sense of financial and emotional peace.

5 – YOUR ACTIONS WILL ALIGN WITH YOUR VALUES.

When I had a “real job,” there were times I was told to do things that I felt were wrong. But since I needed to keep the income coming in, I felt I had to play along. As soon as we were no longer dependent on that job for survival, it was like a switch flipped.

I began to speak up in meetings and say, “we’re approaching this all wrong.” In case you’re wondering, that new voice was not well received. But it felt amazing to finally speak up about what I believed.

Now I understand how living in resistance to our values is physically and emotionally unhealthy. I can’t tell you how many times over those last couple of years I called Jer crying because I was being forced to do something that was wrong or utterly ridiculous. It affected me emotionally and I believe it also took a toll on my physical health. I’m so grateful I was able to get out of that cycle before any serious health issue arose.

Jer has expressed similar feelings. While discussing our new found freedom, he said, “One of the best things is not feeling constant stress at work. I no longer feel trapped and I don’t make decisions based on fear.”

When we’re stuck in the cycle of debt, it’s not uncommon to sacrifice what’s most important to us to make ends meet. I’ve been there and I learned that you don’t have to stay stuck. Freedom is closer than you think.

4 – YOU’LL VIEW YOUR FUTURE WITH A NEW PERSPECTIVE.

The plans we’re discussing for the next ten years weren’t imaginable when we started this journey a decade ago. In the past, we’d have big dreams but would eventually succumb to facing “reality.”

For instance, when we got married in Hawaii 16 years ago, we came back and announced that we were going to retire there. Everyone said, “There’s no way you’ll be able to afford to live there.” And we believed them. Feeling defeated, we started looking for cheaper options, like Mexico, Nicaragua, and Thailand. (Remember what I said about relationships?)

Today we have a new perspective. Instead of accepting defeat we ask, “What can we do to make this happen?”

With the freedom that comes from living debt-free, our dreams have grown far beyond retiring somewhere warm. Our dreams are no longer some far off vision that will happen someday when we retire. Our dreams are continually growing and evolving, but more importantly, we believe that we can get there.

3 – YOU’LL ENJOY BETTER HEALTH.


I’ve shared the ways we feel less stressed and there are other ways our health has improved. Most importantly, we’ve been able to take back control over how we live our everyday lives. We’ve built a foundation that allows both of us to exercise daily and consume healthy home-cooked meals. We’ve been able to work in rest and healthier morning routines. We drink less, sleep better and live all-around healthier lives.

We also have a greater sense of emotional peace. There’s less anxiety about making money. And we’re happier and more content overall. It’s been a much better way to live life.

2 – YOU’LL FEEL MORE CONFIDENT.

This is a big one for both Jer and I. We struggled with low self-confidence for most of our lives.

In another blog post, I wrote “confidence is something we carry within us and not a series of particular behaviors. As we begin to feel more secure in ourselves and our abilities, our confidence will become visible on the outside in its own special way. Confidence is a skill. We can’t read, wish, or meditate ourselves into more confidence. We have to practice the things we’re trying to become more confident in.”

In short, confidence requires action. We took action and ended up achieving a goal many people never achieve. Obtaining and maintaining debt-free status is a pretty big deal and something we deserve to feel good about.

This confidence has spilled over into other areas beyond our financial life. We’re more confident with our health, looks, and body image. We’re more confident in our relationships and communication. We’re more confident in our careers and life choices. It was an unexpected, yet welcomed bonus to achieving financial freedom.

1 – YOU’LL ENJOY BETTER RELATIONSHIPS, ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR SPOUSE.

It’s hard to express what working on and achieving a goal like this does for a relationship. And I have to imagine it’s different for everyone. So here’s our perspective.

Working on something like this as a couple requires a high level of honesty, follow-through, and trust. Your success depends on your ability to communicate and work as a team. If you can stick with it, achieving your goal will bring you closer together.

There are many ways our relationship has improved. We feel less stress overall. We have more quality time together. And we continue to learn and grow as a team. This is something we will always share; the experience of a lifetime that brought us closer together.

I invite you to think about how these benefits could play a role in your life. Then take some time to think about what financial freedom might look like to you. I share our story, not as the only strategy that works, but to inspire you to write your own.

Here are some questions you might want to consider.

  • How much money would you need to reach the next level of financial freedom?
  • Does financial freedom mean living debt free?
  • If so, how much debt do you have to pay off? How quickly can you do that?
  • If not, how much debt are you willing to live with?
  • How much would you need to earn to not have to worry about making ends meet?
  • How will you manage your finances in order to maintain your financial freedom?

Now take some time to think about why this is important to you and your family.

Answer these questions and visualize the answers as though they’ve already come true.

  • How would your life be different if you created financial freedom?
  • How would your daily life be in alignment with what you most value?
  • How would your relationships develop through this process?
  • How would it feel to achieve this goal?
  • How would you use your freedom to create change in the world?

Finally, there is no change without action.

Write down one small thing you can do this week to start moving toward more freedom. If you’re feeling brave, hold yourself accountable by sharing it in the comments below. Or come tell me about it on Facebook.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in June of 2018. It has been completely revamped for accuracy, comprehensiveness, and readability. Please enjoy and feel free to share this newly revised content.

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3 TED Talks to Help You Get Unstuck and Start Moving Forward

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I think we all go through periods in our lives when we feel stuck. In fact, a survey showed that one-third of American’s, that’s 100 million of us, feel dissatisfied with their lives. I’ve been there and I know how overwhelming and defeating it can feel. I also know what it’s like to get unstuck and come out the other side filled with hope and gratitude.

These three TED Talks are the perfect combination to help you get unstuck and start taking positive action today. From Mel Robbin’s tough love and hard-hitting truth to Susan David’s permission to feel all your feels, this lineup is the inspiration you need. But remember, all the information in the world is just information until you use it to take action. Find the courage to take one small step to start getting unstuck today.

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How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over

Mel Robbins has become a sensation since the launch of The 5 Second Rule. She describes it as “the gap between thinking about what needs to be done and actually doing it.” In this groundbreaking TED Talk, Robbin’s explains how you can turn off your autopilot, get unstuck, and start living a more meaningful life today.

Top Three Takeaways

  1. The odds of you being born YOU are one in 400 Trillion. You owe it to yourself, to humanity, to start living up to your potential.
  2. When you feel stuck or dissatisfied, recognize it as a signal that you need to change, not as a signal your life is broken. It’s a signal that one of your most basic needs is not being met and the only way you’ll meet it is by forcing yourself to get uncomfortable.
  3. If you have an impulse that is pulling you and you don’t marry it within an action within five seconds, you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea. Your problem isn’t ideas, your problem is that you don’t act on them.

If you didn’t do it while you were watching the talk, think about what you want. What you really, really want. Then think of one thing you can do in the next five seconds to put action to that idea. Then actually do it. Try to do this each day until taking action is just what you do.

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The Psychology of Your Future Self

Dan Gilbert is a Harvard psychologist and a leading expert on happiness. In this talk, Gilbert explores why we make decisions that our future selves regret and how we can avoid it.

Top Three Takeaways

  1. Many of us walk around with the illusion that our personal history has come to an end. That we have become the people that we were meant to be and will be this way for the rest of our lives.
  2. We only recognize how much change happens over the course of 10 years when we look backward.
  3. “Human beings are a work in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished. The person you are right now is as transient, fleeting, and as temporary as all the people you’ve ever been.”

This is an inspiring message for anyone who feels stuck. Think about how much further along you are today than you were 10 years ago. Now imagine the possibility of what could be 10 years from now. Better yet, decide what that might look like in the best case scenario and start moving in that direction today. You can explore the process of creating a 10 Year Plan by following the instructions in this post.

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The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage

Susan David is a Harvard Medical School psychologist and author of the book Emotional Agility. She studies how we can use emotion to bring out our best selves in all areas of our lives. This talk will challenge your belief that the key to happiness is positivity.

Top Three Takeaways

  1. A third of us either judge ourselves for having so-called “bad” emotions or actively try to push aside these feelings. Not only are we doing this to ourselves, but we are inadvertently shaming our children out of emotions seen as negative.
  2. Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness. Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are suppressed or ignored, they get stronger. Internal pain ALWAYS comes out.
  3. Research shows that the radical acceptance of all of our emotions is the cornerstone to resilience and authentic happiness. When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the exact cause of our feelings, activating the readiness potential in our brains that allows us to get unstuck and move forward.

A great way to start connecting with your emotions is what David’s teacher suggested. Write what you’re feeling. Tell the truth. Write like nobody’s reading. I promise you it works!

Courage is not an absence of fear. Courage is fear walking. – Susan David Click To Tweet

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I hope these TED Talks brought value to your life. I’ve watched all of them several times and learn more and more each time. As I mentioned in the beginning, you won’t begin to get unstuck until you start taking action. Pick one thing you learned today and make it a priority to incorporate it into your day. As Dan Gilbert said, we grossly underestimate how far we can go in ten years. So why not wow yourself and blow your expectations to pieces.

What resources and tips do you have for getting unstuck? Share in the comments below or share them with me on Facebook. I can’t wait to connect!

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4 Mindset Shifts that Will Help You Live More Authentically

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We are living in one of the most exciting times in the history of our human race. Freedom, wealth, and opportunity are expanding far and wide. If there’s ever been a time to live authentically and chase your dreams, the time is now. But to make the most of this opportunity, you might first need to do some work on your mindset.

I grew up believing that there were very specific rules for creating a good life. You finish school, go to college, get a “good” corporate job, get married, have a family, retire … Then you get to spend the rest of your days doing what you love. Looking back I can see a major flaw in my former way of thinking. I was waiting until my days were numbered to start creating a life I loved.

That mindset began to change in 2010. I accepted a new position at work the previous fall that had me traveling four days a week across four states. I quickly grew tired of my usual music and talk radio. Within months, I was an audiobook and podcast addict.

While traversing Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, I stumbled upon a thought leader who challenged everything I ever believed to be true. I listened to the book, Linchpin, by Seth Godin. And for the first time, I saw things like passion, creativity, and authenticity as possibilities, not just impractical daydreams. I couldn’t un-hear this message and slowly began planting seeds for a complete mindset overhaul.

Perhaps your challenge isn't finding a better project or a better boss. Perhaps you need to get in touch with what it means to feel passionate. People with passion look for ways to make things happen. ― Seth Godin Click To Tweet

Nearly a decade later, I’m a completely different person than that compliant and complacent 30-some-year-old girl. I have transformed mentally, physically, and spiritually. My life is moving in a direction I never could have imagined and all of that boils down to mindset.

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Here are five key ways my mindset has transformed.

I Value Authenticity

I spent a good portion of my life pretending to be someone I was not. For example, one of the things that was drilled into my head was the importance of being an extrovert. Whether at home, school, or work, the message was the same. Only the assertive extroverts get ahead.

As you might predict from what I set up, I’m not a natural extrovert. So I spent most of my life making sure no one discovered my secret. One of the craziest things I did was lie on personality tests. I’m an INTJ in the Myers-Briggs assessment. But for the first 30-some years of my life, I straight up lied and tested as an ENTJ.

If you need to conceal your true nature to get in the door, understand that you'll probably have to conceal your true nature to keep that job. ― Seth Godin Click To Tweet

This might seem crazy, but the idea that I could be myself blew my ever-loving mind. And terrified me at the same time because I had no idea who that person was. That was the start of rediscovering and become my awkward and authentic self.

I Live in Gratitude

The environment I was raised in was rather negative. One of the most common phrases I heard growing up was, “Life’s a b!tch and then you die.” I heard a lot about how everyone is trying to screw you over. And I learned that if something good happened, that meant that the other shoe was about to drop. But in spite of the negativity that surrounded me, I never lost my ability to dream and hope.

Optimism is the most important human trait, because it allows us to evolve our ideas, to improve our situation, and to hope for a better tomorrow. ― Seth Godin Click To Tweet

One of the things that helped me let go of that negative mindset was starting a gratitude journal. For the last seven-plus years, I have written down what I’m most grateful for every day. My daily gratitude practice taught me that you don’t have to be grateful FOR every situation. But you can be grateful IN every situation.

We all have less than stellar days. You don’t have to be grateful that you backed your new car into a tree. But you can be grateful that the damage doesn’t need immediate attention and that you finally found your way.

I Give Generously

Instead of believing that we lived in world of abundance, I grew up with the belief that there was a fixed supply. You can learn more about the fixed pie fallacy in this post. But the premise is the belief that everything in life is a zero-sum game. If your neighbor gets a raise that means someone else is going to lose that amount.

Fortunately, I had wonderful mentors and experiences that taught me that life doesn’t work that way. Wealth creates more wealth. Generosity creates generosity. And love compounds love.

Some people are gift givers by nature. They love their tribe, or they respect their art, and so they give. Not for an ulterior motive, but because it gives them joy. ― Seth Godin Click To Tweet

I learned that the key to being truly generous is giving without expecting anything in return. Expectations lead to disappointment. Learning to give for the sake of giving leads to joy. And let’s be honest, what’s more off-putting than someone who appears to be generous and then holds it over your head for all of eternity?

I Value Change

Somewhere on my journey, I learned that if you quit or change course, you’re failing. So I stayed working for a terrible company instead of looking like a failure. I know it sounds crazy, but our subconscious beliefs can be stronger than reality.

Discomfort brings engagement and change. Discomfort means you're doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they're hiding out in the comfortable zone. ― Seth Godin Click To Tweet

Little by little I found the courage to change. As I changed, I felt more confident about where I was headed. Rather than fearing change, I began to seek it. And as the changes got bolder, my life got better.

Life is change. When you resist it, you live in fear and scarcity. When you accept it, you step into the process of evolving into your best self. You let go of the idea that happiness can only be found at the destination and enjoy the journey of becoming.

I Strive for Self-Acceptance

I’m going out on a limb and guessing that self-acceptance isn’t easy for many of us. Most of us are our own harshest critics.

The secret to being wrong isn't to avoid being wrong! The secret is being willing to be wrong. The secret is realizing that wrong isn't fatal. ― Seth Godin Click To Tweet

The funny thing is that the harder I am on myself the more I retreat into fear and not enough. I honestly can’t think of a single person who benefits when I’m stuck there, including myself. So I’m learning to truly love and accept my authentic self. And in the process, I’m letting go of a lifetime of paralyzing perfectionism.

Like most things, it’s a journey. And as with anything truly worth having, it’s worth the effort. It all begins when you decide to change your mindset.

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Four Ways to Nurture Your Mindset

1 – Focus on Learning and Growth

Growing up, I naïvely believed that when you graduate from college, you’re done learning. Linchpin inspired me to think differently.

The more I learned, the more I realized I didn’t know. The more I realized I didn’t know, the more I wanted to learn. I realized that I had always loved learning, I just mistakenly believed that it had to come from a school.

I discovered that learning doesn’t have to be formal or a big production. It can be as simple as being intentional about the media you consume. Rather than picking up your phone and browsing social media, open a book. Instead of mindlessly flipping through channels, take an online course. Turn off the usual talk radio and dive into an audiobook on your way to work. There are endless fun and entertaining ways to learn and grow.

2 – Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

Part nature, part nurture, I was an anxious little girl. I never would have imagined I’d be doing the things I’m doing today. The old me wouldn’t dream of writing the things I’m sharing in this post. Nor would I have driven around rural Mexico … at night.

But over the years I’ve come to realize that the best experiences happen once we break out of our comfort zone. I wrote some thoughts about how getting uncomfortable has changed us in an Instagram post. You can read it below.

View this post on Instagram

Have you ever noticed that the very best life has to offer is just outside your comfort zone? — @jer11scherer and I just returned from a Mexican adventure that was pretty far off the typical American tourist route. Other than two servers and a hotel receptionist, no one spoke English. The towns we visited we tiny and there was almost no information about them. The roads were rough and it was normal to come to a complete stop every dozen kilometers because there were cattle in the road. — Although we LOVE these trips and always have an amazing time, there are plenty of moments that are uncomfortable and even downright stressful. These moments are wonderful opportunities to learn and grow. They change who you are, how you see the world, and function as a team. Not to mention, they make the best stories and memories for years to come. — What’s one of your favorite memories that came from stepping outside your comfort zone? . . . #theyearofwholeheartedliving #courageclarityconfidence #loveyourwholelife #meaning #authenticity #shineon #hollygoeswild #hollyandjer #advenscherer #notallwhowanderarelost #visitmexico #jalisco #maito #cabocorrientes #celebratelife #celebratelove #domoreofwhatmakesyouhappy #travel #gypsysoul

A post shared by Holly Scherer – Writer & Coach (@hollyscherer) on

Always be open to trying something new. Live life as though it’s an exciting experiment. If it scares you (within reason), it’s probably something you should try.

3 – Learn to Trust Your Intuition

My intuition has always been strong. Listening to and trusting it … that’s another story.

It all starts by learning to stop and listen. This can be a challenge in our always-on modern society. It doesn’t really matter where you find it. The key is to identify a couple of ten-minute chunks of time with no distractions so you can stop and listen. This can simply mean turning off the radio for the last 10 minutes of your commute.

4 – Stop Worrying About What Other People Think

I originally published this post in December of 2015. Looking back, I can see that I hadn’t stopped worrying about what other people thought. I just stopped listening. Which is a good is a start.

It’s hard because I believe that part of it is hard-wired into us. But I also know that trying to make everyone else happy is guaranteed to eventually make you unhappy. I love what Brené Brown wrote on the subject in her book Daring Greatly.

“When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable. If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits gets crushed. It’s a tightrope, shame resilience is the balance bar, and the safety net below is the one or two people in our lives who can help us reality-check the criticism and cynicism.”

― Brené Brown

Choose who and what you listen to wisely. And that includes yourself.

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My journey to live a more authentic, grateful, and generous life is far from over. I have to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone, trust myself, and let go of the opinions of others each and every day. But I wouldn’t change a thing because I live with more contentment, gratitude, and joy than I ever dreamed possible. And it all started by shifting my mindset.

What mindset shift has been the most impactful in your life? Comment below or come say “hi” on Facebook.

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CREATING AN AUTHENTIC MINDSET?

My one word for 2019 is wholehearted. I’m documenting my journey exclusively for my email subscribers. The first Monday of each month I’ll share what I’ve learned, where I’m struggling, and actionable tips you can use. I’ll link each month’s lessons so feel free to join me any time this year. You can sign up here.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in December of 2015. It has been completely revamped for accuracy, comprehensiveness, and readability. Please enjoy and feel free to share this newly revised content.

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Simple Tips to Embrace the Power of Authenticity

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Authenticity is becoming one of those words that’s been used to the point that some people say it’s cliché. When a word increase in popularity like this, there’s a great opportunity to consider why. Why does it seem like everyone is talking about being more authentic?

Let’s start by defining what authenticity means. Merriam-Webster defines authentic as true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character. I think that’s a great definition, but what does that really mean?

In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown explains it like this.

Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough. Authenticity demands Wholehearted living and loving—even when it’s hard, even when we’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it.

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

I like to think of authenticity as who we are when we strip away all the labels. The person who remains once you stop striving to become who you think you’re supposed to be and allow yourself to just be.

Or as Rumi put it, “Try and be a sheet of paper with nothing on it.”

As a culture, we’re longing for the freedom to be who we truly are. We’re tired of the filters and striving for perfection. We wish the people around us would let down their guard and just be real.

When we look back at this time 30 years from now, I think we’ll see a clear correlation between our longing for authenticity and the increased prevalence of social media. While there are wonderful things we gain with social media, there’s also a dark side.

Whether or not it’s intended, our social media accounts have become our highlight reels. Let’s compare Facebook to an old school photo album. The space in an album is limited, so we tend to only add the most important pictures from holidays, special events, and once in a lifetime vacations. I remember when my best friend returned from her honeymoon fifteen years ago. I couldn’t wait to look at her photo albums and hear all about it. It was an exciting event.

For many of us, Facebook and Instagram have replaced our photo albums. Unlike a physical album, you can upload and many images as you want, instantly. You can filter and edit your photos with the swipe of your thumb. And you instantly receive feedback from friends and strangers across the globe.

While convenient, it’s easy for the realness of our lives to be stripped away online. We don’t get the whole story like we did when we were looking at the photo albums. Then we find ourselves comparing our lives to highlight reels. And I’ll be the first to admit that can put me at risk of falling victim to not enough.

We might even feel compelled to ratchet up our own social media game. Eventually, we find ourselves logging in 12 times a day to see how many likes our most recent post got. Next thing we know, we’re judging our worthiness by the number of likes and comments we get. Is it any wonder that it’s so easy to get caught up striving to look like who we think we should be?

Searching for your authentic self is nothing new. Lao-Tzu, Nietzsche, and Thoreau were in search of these answers too. The difference today is that the messages about who we should be are becoming stronger and louder. Making us feel stuck between being our authentic selves and wanting to fit in.

I’m writing this not as the master of authentic living but as someone who is on my own imperfect journey. Like most things in life, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to becoming your authentic self. And as with everything, clarity comes from action. So becoming our authentic selves may involve some trial and error.

While I don’t know it all, I’ve learned a lot on my journey. Here are the three most powerful lessons I learned while becoming my authentic self.

1 – Start Now

Rumi said, “As you walk out on the way, the way appears.” The best method to discover your authentic self is to get in the game; the sooner the better.

Stop waiting until you have all the answers. You’ll never know it all. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more you’ll learn. The more you learn, the more questions you’ll have. The more questions you explore, the more you’ll discover your unique authentic self.

Start now and embrace the process of becoming. The journey is one of the best parts. Click To Tweet

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2 – You’ll Know When You Find It

I spent the first 30-some years of my life trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be. Then one day I realized I couldn’t live like that for another 30-some years. From that day on I’ve been on a journey to rediscover who I am and why I’m here.

As you start to become that beautiful human you were meant to be, everything will begin to fall into place. You won’t have to try so hard to fit in because your people will begin to rally around you. You’ll feel like you’re in the zone as you create more meaningful work. You’ll feel confident saying, “this is what I believe,” and more comfortable saying, “no.” When you’re no longer focused on what everyone else thinks, you’ll find it easier to make the time to put your health and everything that’s important to you first.

You’ll know you’re on the right path when it starts to feel everything is falling into place.

3 – It’s Not Static

Living an authentic life isn’t a one and done event. As you grow, change, and evolve, so do your values, dreams, and passions. The more you explore, the more you’ll discover pieces of your authentic self. It’s a never-ending transformation that regularly offers a renewed feeling of wholeness and contentment.

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A decade ago, the idea of finding and becoming my authentic self seemed overwhelming and unattainable. Little by little I rediscovered who I was, what I’m good at, and what I love. I’m grateful for the discontentment that forced me out of my comfort zone and into becoming. I hope that what I share here, and on Facebook and Instagram inspire you to do the same.

If you’re ready to embrace your authenticity, consider investing in yourself and work with me one on one.

Want to learn more about living authentically?

My one word for 2019 is wholehearted. I’m documenting my journey exclusively for my email subscribers. The first Monday of each month I’ll share what I’ve learned, where I’m struggling, and actionable tips you can use. I’ll link each month’s lessons so feel free to join me any time this year. You can sign up here.

What does living authentically mean to you? Share in the comments below or come start a conversation on Facebook.

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