Holly Scherer

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How to break your smartphone addiction

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When I’m writing a new post, I always create five titles and choose the one I think is best. The first title I wrote for this post was how to break your phone habit. But as I thought about it, it’s more than a habit for me at times. I have moments when I feel like I have a smartphone addiction.

Since Apple introduced Screen Time, I’ve paid much more attention to my smartphone usage. Every Sunday I get a popup that tells me exactly how many hours per day I spent on my phone. And to be honest, I’m rarely happy with that number.

I’m sure many of you agree that you have a love-hate relationship with your phone. It’s hard to remember how I ever got by without it. It’s my alarm clock, notebook, GPS, camera, calendar, and everything else. It can also be a huge distraction.

I don’t know about you, but my relationship with my phone is not always healthy. It helps me stay organized. But it’s just as easy to use those tools to distract me from doing what’s most important. When I’m feeling uneasy, picking up my phone and scrolling through Instagram is a quick and satisfying distraction. And I can’t tell you how many times I pick up my phone to make a note or put something in my calendar and 20 minutes later find myself trying to remember why I picked it up in the first place.

That’s why I’m calling it a smartphone addiction instead of a habit. By definition, addiction is “a strong inclination to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly.” Not everyone will agree with my word choice. And I know that it’s not a struggle for everyone to put their phone down. But it’s easy for me to see patterns between my smartphone usage and my life as a former smoker.

We know all the reasons smartphones are great. They wake us up for work in the morning. And ensure we get to our meetings on time. Our phones get us from point A to point B in the most efficient manner, avoiding slow traffic and speed traps. We can check the weather, buy and sell stocks, and keep up with email. And social media has helped us reconnect with old friends and make new connections too. There’s a lot of really great things about smartphones.

At the same time, loneliness has become an epidemic. Nearly half of Americans “often feel alone, left out and lacking meaningful connection with others.” Smartphone addiction and social media aren’t the only reasons for these increased feelings of loneliness, but they are a big part of it.

When was the last time you talked to someone on the phone, just because? Not for business or to schedule an appointment, but to simply catch up. It’s probably been five years for me. Texting is much more convenient and takes a lot less time. And besides, I’d rather chat face to face. But I’d be kidding myself if I didn’t think that cutting out this form of communication could be contributing to our collective loneliness.

Social media has connected us to old and new friends alike. There’s no better tool than Instagram for connecting with likeminded people. But how often does the connection stop there? Rather than using it to find people we’d love to connect with in real life, we remain online acquaintances. And then there’s the whole comparison trap that can make us feel like we’re falling behind and not keeping up.

As much as this independent introvert hates to admit it, we are social creatures. We have been since the beginning of time. And cutting this aspect from our lives hasn’t been good for us.

Could breaking our smartphone addiction help us get out, connect, and enjoy life again?

Here are 12 tips to help break your smartphone addiction.

1 – Turn notifications off.

Once you get over the initial uneasiness, you’re going to thank me for this tip. I turned my notifications off in 2012 and I’ve never felt compelled to turn them on since.

At the time I had a job where I traveled and worked remotely. I found myself in meetings with clients, unable to focus because phone calls and emails kept flooding in. I also didn’t feel safe driving with constant emails and emergencies coming through. So I turned them all off.

In a world where many people expect an immediate response 24-7, this might not work for you. You may need to ease into it and set expectations and boundaries for your contacts slowly. However you choose to approach this, it’s worth exploring.

Each time we’re interrupted, it takes an average of 23 minutes to get back on task. Let’s say you get interrupted once per hour during the workday. We’ll assume you spend eight minutes responding to each interruption. Those eight minutes, plus the 23 minutes it takes you to get back on task costs you four hours and 8 minutes each day. That’s almost 21 hours per week, 83 hours per month, and 992 hours per year! That’s essentially 25 40-hour workweeks.

But maybe you practice some of the tips below and aren’t interrupted as often. If you’re only interrupted once per day, that’s still 124 hours each year, more than 3 40-hour workweeks.

I don’t know about you, but there are lots of ways I’d rather spend that time than being interrupted and task switching. The best way to prevent this is to turn off your notifications.

2 – Put your phone away.

While I write this, my phone is hiding in another room. There’s nothing I need from my phone while I’m writing so why have the temptation?

When I’m out interacting with people, my phone stays in my purse or I turn it screen side down. Face to face interaction is becoming rarer as we all feel busier. Keeping my phone out of the way shows the people I’m with that their presence is important to me.

3 – Set app limits.

Screen Time for iOS is the greatest invention since the smartphone. It allows you to see exactly how much time you spend on your phone each day. It compiles each app’s usage and even allows you to set app limits.

While it’s easy enough to override the limits, the notification is usually all I need to put my phone down. If you find yourself constantly overriding your limits, ask yourself if your limits are reasonable. When I started, I set a limit of 40 minutes per day on Instagram. It turns out that wasn’t enough time for me to interact the way I needed to so I increased it to one hour.

If you’ve set a reasonable time limit and still find yourself overriding it all day long, ask someone else to create a password for you. If there’s a social media emergency, they can log you in. But on a daily basis, getting locked out will help you break your smartphone addiction.

If you’re an Android user, there are apps that do the same thing. At the time I’m writing this, Google is beta testing a similar feature called Digital Wellbeing. And for both devices, I’ve heard great things about the Moment app.

4 – Schedule It

I have a daily schedule that I try to stick to most days and on that schedule, I set aside time for email and social media. It’s a lot easier to stay off of social media during the day if I know I have dedicated time in the evening.

5 – Delete social media.

When you pick up your phone when you feel bored or need to distract yourself, what are your go-to apps? For me, it’s social media. Nothing distracts me from that argument I just had with my spouse like a scroll through Facebook.

That’s why I deleted social media apps from my phone. Other than Instagram, which works best on mobile, I deleted them all. There’s nothing on Facebook or Twitter that’s urgent enough that it can’t wait until I log on from my laptop. And if it was truly urgent, I hope your friends and family have other ways to contact you other than social media.

6 – Create Anti Phone Addiction Rules.

The first hour of my day is dedicated to healing, growing, and setting my mindset to have a great day. My current morning routine includes reading something for spiritual growth, journaling, and meditation. While I’m reading, I often come across quotes I want to share on Instagram. And while journaling, I always come up with great ideas for blog posts. In those moments, it’s easy to pick up my phone and get sucked in.

At one point last year I felt like it was getting out of hand, so I made a rule that I wouldn’t touch my phone for the first hour of the day for an entire month. Being the competitive person I am, the first hour turned into 4 hours, and then the whole day. Not only was I breaking my smartphone addiction, but I was insanely productive too.

The key is to identify your triggers and problem areas and then create rules around them. It also helps to create accountability. When I did my own 30-day challenge, I shared screenshots in my Instagram story.

7 – Use timers.

When I’m working, I set timers and work in one-hour blocks. This ensures that I don’t go down a rabbit hole with research or write a small book. It also allows me breaks to get up, change positions, get a drink, or use the restroom. I’ve also found that it prevents distractions like social media. Anyone can focus on something if they just have to do it for an hour.

I also set a timer for my morning routine. When it goes off, I’m done. So if I choose to use that time checking email or making notes in Evernote, I miss out on my important reading and journaling time.

8 – Find the power button and airplane mode.

If your smartphone addiction is really out of hand, use the power button to turn it off. By the time it boots back up, you’ll likely have forgotten what was so compelling that you had to turn it back on in the first place. I’m also a fan of airplane mode. When my husband, Jer, and I are traveling and spending time together, I often suggest that all the phones stay on airplane mode so we can spend quality time reconnecting.

9 – Try a fast.

Consider a phone or social media fast. My first social media fast was during lent of 2014 and it was glorious. At the time I was feeling pretty burned out on everything Facebook so I shut it all down. Guess what? I didn’t miss it at all. And no one missed me. I even inspired a few people to do their own fast.

When I disconnected from social media I found that I had more time for things I cared about. I had more time to read. I enjoyed more quality time with my spouse. And I felt less anxiety about my life.

10 – Go Screen-free.

Maybe you don’t need a 40-day fast to break your smartphone addiction. How about scheduling one screen-free day each week? Think of the fun your family could have if you agreed to give up your phones every Sunday.

11 – Write it down.

There are a lot of benefits to physically writing things down. It creates a different connection in your brain which has all sorts of wonderful benefits. And for me, it also keeps me off my phone. I go back and forth on this but right now, I’m physically writing my weekly and daily plans on paper.

One less reason to pick up my phone means one less way to be distracted which means more time to focus on what’s truly important.

12 – Be intentional.

I could give you a million more tips, but I’ll end with this. Be intentional with how you’re using your phone and social media. For each task or app, ask if it’s helping or hurting you. Here’s a great list to help you be more intentional.

When writing this post, I didn’t choose the words smartphone addiction lightly. There are times in my life when I use my phone to numb and that feels like an addiction to me. There are also times when I’m in public and watching people makes me feel like our collective smartphone addiction is becoming a crisis.

These 12 tips are simple ways to begin creating healthier habits with your devices. Smartphones can be a wonderful tool if we’re using them as a way to connect and not as a way to numb and disconnect. The beauty is that you get to decide exactly how you’ll make your smartphone work for you.

How do you manage your smartphone usage? Share in the comments below or come tell me about it on Facebook.

How being wholehearted helped me find my true self

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Welcome to my personal journey to become more wholehearted. As a lifelong perfectionist, I’ve struggled with my sense of inherent worthiness. For most of my life, I believed that my value as a person was a reflection of my grades, appearance, generosity, job title, income, weight, and net worth. Then one day I realized the perfection I’d been chasing wasn’t an unattainable goal.

Letting go of my need to be perfect opened up a whole new world of opportunity for me. But it hasn’t been easy.

In 2018 I published a vulnerable post about my limiting beliefs that was very difficult to write. The morning it went live I shared the link on social media then went a lecture with a friend. When I returned to my car after the talk, I checked social media to see what people were saying.

There was only one comment and the reader explained they’ve never felt anything like this. Rather than having a rational reaction, like, duh, anyone else who struggles with this isn’t going to speak up publically online, I plummeted into a shame spiral. I told myself, I’m such an idiot for publishing this. Now no one will ever take me seriously. I should just shut it all down and quit. I knew I wasn’t cut out for this. God, I’m so stupid.

I carried that self-doubt into the weekend. I knew these feelings of shame all too well and I wanted nothing more than to stop them. But not just for now. I wanted to put an end to them permanently. So while I cleaned the house that Saturday, I pulled up Brené Brown’s TED Talks about shame and vulnerability and began listening, over and over, for hours on end.

This is the day that my year of wholehearted living began.

As I listened to the talks, I stopped now and then to scribble some notes in the back of my journal. The first line I wrote down was, “People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging.”

In her research, Brown called these people wholehearted. I wrote down the word, wholehearted, and I knew instantly that was my one word for 2019. I thought, If I could learn to live wholeheartedly, maybe I could let go of all these years of unworthiness and striving for perfection.

Below are some of the other notes I wrote in my journal that day.

  • Wholehearted people share the following qualities: courage, compassion, and connection.
  • Courage isn’t about being brave but telling the story of who you are with your whole heart.
  • The wholehearted have the courage to be imperfect.
  • Wholehearted people are willing to let go of who they thought they were supposed to be in order to be who they are.
  • Wholehearted people embrace vulnerability.
  • The wholehearted believe that what makes them vulnerable also makes them beautiful.

I wanted to live all of these things more than anything. So in order to hold myself accountable, I decided to share my wholehearted journey with my email subscribers. I picked a theme for each month, incorporating Brown’s 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living and got to work. I used this list because I knew it would challenge me. If I were creating my own, there’s no way things like laughter, song, and dance would have made the cut.

It wasn’t easy at first. I had to fight a lifetime of limiting beliefs. There were times I thought it would be easier to go back to the way I lived a decade ago, numbing this discomfort and vulnerability with cigarettes, booze, and food. But then I remembered how hard I worked to get to where I am today and I used that to keep moving forward.

For an entire year, I followed the plan I share with you below. And then one day I felt it. I was hiking in a neighborhood park and I noticed a feeling of wholeness and worthiness. I felt wholehearted.

It wasn’t because I was outside or because I was being a good girl and exercising. I felt worthy just for being. I was so grateful that all of this deliberate practice was finally becoming a part of who I am. Let me assure you that this feeling still comes and goes. But at least now I know it’s in there somewhere.

Here’s how I became more wholehearted.

Step One – You Are Worthy

The first step is to practice believing that you are worthy of love and belonging. You are worthy just as you are today. Not when you lose 10 pounds or get that promotion.

This can be a difficult mindset switch for those of us who were raised in cultures where our value was tied to our achievements. But think of how different your life would be if you could let go of the belief that your worthiness is tied to your “success”.

While I was working through this step, I happened upon this podcast episode that brought a lot of clarity to the topic. Whatever you believe spiritually, consider listening. I believe the message is valuable to everyone and that it will help you on your wholehearted journey.

Step Two – Just Say No

The second step to become more wholehearted is learning to say, “No” to anything that challenges that sense of worthiness. This could include anything from friends, family, and coworkers, to social media, and your own disempowering beliefs.

If my interactions on social media are causing me to question my worthiness, I need to step away. When a story I’m telling myself makes me feel unlovable, I need to rewrite that script. If there’s a person in my life who communicates with venom and insults, I need to take a step back until I can respond in a healthy manner.

Learn to recognize what’s triggering your feelings of unworthiness and find the courage to just say no.

Step Three – Let Go

The next ten steps follow The 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living. If you want to dive deeper into the guideposts, I recommend reading Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

The first guidepost to wholehearted living is to cultivate authenticity by letting go of what people think. I wrote an entire post about authenticity that you can read here.

Letting go of what people think, however, isn’t easy for most of us. And here’s why. Brown says, “when we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable.”

This is how I walk through the process of letting go without losing my ability to be vulnerable.

1 – I catch myself.

When I published that post on limiting beliefs, for example, I was stuck in a shame spiral. I was repeating variations of, “Ugh, I can’t believe what I shared about my limiting beliefs. Everyone is going to think I’m crazy. No one will ever take me seriously again. I’m going to have to shut this all down and get a job as a cashier at Aldi.”

2 – I ask what I can learn.

This was obviously triggering some old wounds. What could I learn from this experience that would prevent me from going to this place in the future?

I came to the realization that even if a thousand people hate that post but it helps one person, then it was worth it. I also learned that it’s impossible to please everyone and if you try, you will disappoint everyone, including yourself.

3 – It’s not about you.

So often, when we’re worried about what other people think, we don’t actually know what they think. We’re just responding to a story we made up in our heads.

But occasionally we’re reacting to something someone actually said. Ask yourself if the comments were meant to be helpful or hurtful? Most of us aren’t good at receiving feedback even if it’s constructive. Like everything I talk about in this post, it’s a skill we have to learn. If you believe the comment was meant to help you, spend time reflecting on what you can take away and incorporate.

Sometimes the things people say are meant to hurt us. In these cases, the comments are rarely, if ever, about us. You’ve likely heard the phrase, “hurt people hurt people”? It’s not about you but their own pain and shame. If you’d like to learn more about how to stop taking these comments personally, check out the book The Four Agreements.

Step Four – Self-Compassion

The next steps is cultivating self-compassion by letting go of perfectionism.

“When we work from a place where we believe that I’m enough, we stop screaming and start listening. We’re kinder and gentler to the people around us and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

– Brené Brown

I told you about my struggle with perfectionism at the very beginning of this post. I wore perfectionism as a badge of honor for most of my life. Then one day I realized that it wasn’t making me better. It was paralyzing me and preventing me from achieving my potential. So for this step, I adopted a new mantra.

My best is always enough!

“There was a man who wanted to transcend his suffering so he went to a Buddhist temple to find a Master to help him. He went to the Master and asked, ‘Master, if I meditate four hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?’

The Master looked at him and said, ‘If you meditate four hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in ten years.’

Thinking he could do better, the man then said, ‘oh Master, what if I meditate eight hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?’

The Master looked at him and said, ‘If you meditate eight hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in twenty years.’

‘But why will it take me longer is I meditate more?’ the man asked.

The Master replied. ‘You are not here to sacrifice your joy or your life. You are here to live, to be happy, and to love. If you can do your best in two hours of meditation, but you spend eight hours instead, you will only grow tired, miss the point, and you won’t enjoy your life. Do your best, and perhaps you will learn that no matter how long you meditate, you can live, love, and be happy.’”

– Don Miguel Ruiz; The Four Agreements

The next time you catch yourself rumbling with not good enough, ask yourself, did I do the best I could? If the answer is yes, tell yourself you did great. If the answer is no, be compassionate with yourself. To err is human and it’s your humanity that makes you beautiful.

Step Five – Resilience

The next guidepost to wholehearted living is cultivating resilience by letting go of numbing and powerlessness. This guidepost reminds me of something Brown said in her TED Talk and touches on in all of her books.

“We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.”

– Brené Brown

She goes on to say that you can’t selectively numb emotions. When you try to cover up all the “bad” stuff like pain, anger, and fear with a drink or two or five, you also cover up all the good stuff like joy, and love, and gratitude. And then we find ourselves “miserable and looking for purpose and meaning and then we feel vulnerable…” and the cycle of numbing continues.

I know how easy it is to fall into this cycle. When we think about numbing, we tend to only consider drugs and alcohol. But I’ve seen shopping, gambling, pills, exercise, food, and social media be just as harmful.

The average person picks up their phone about 60 times per day. Have you ever stopped to think about what you’re feeling when you pick it up? I’ve noticed that I tend to pick up my phone to distract me when I’m feeling uneasy.

Here are some things that help with my resilience when I’m feeling uneasy and powerless.

  • Journaling
  • Talking to someone I trust
  • Exercise
  • Meditation and prayer
  • Yoga
  • Positive self-talk
  • Positive media — books, audiobooks, podcasts, Ted talks, YouTube
  • Getting out in nature

Step Six – Be Grateful

Cultivate joy and gratitude by letting go of scarcity.

On Valentine’s Day 2012 I started a Gratitude Journal. It’s one of the first things I do each morning to this day. And I believe that it’s one of the best things you can do to live with joy and contentment.

We live in a world that operates on scarcity. Go into almost any workplace and you’ll find scarcity acted out.

Here’s an example. A local coffee shop brings in an expert to help with their marketing. Everyone who had anything to do with marketing before refuses to work with the expert, saying things like, “he came from the tech industry, what does he know about coffee shops?” What’s really happening in this situation, and every similar workplace conflict, is that these employees are reacting from a place of fear and scarcity.

I have a great post on scarcity as it pertains to personal finance, but you can apply the principles to any area of life. You can read it here.

Step Seven – Have Faith

Remember that part about using these guideposts because I knew I wouldn’t do things that were uncomfortable otherwise? This is one of those steps. Cultivating intuition and trusting faith by letting go of the need for certainty.

I love certainty SO MUCH! I’m a type-A, researcher, planner, and ducks-in-a-rower, to a T. I find it really hard to operate without certainty.

One of my goals last year was to take a solo backpacking trip. I had camped alone a lot, but being alone in the dark wilderness was a new level of scary. Initially, I planned to do a couple of nights in a state park remote campsite. I don’t how, but somehow that turned into a five-day, 85-mile hike on the Superior Hiking Trail.

This was the longest hike I’d ever attempted and my first time backpacking solo. I planned to do the most beautiful section of trail which also meant it was the most difficult. It’s a challenging trail with lots of rocks, roots, and steep descents. And coming off one of the wettest years in history, it was insanely muddy. This ankle-deep mud cut my normal speedy pace in half. While hiking, it rained for two days straight which made my pack about 10 pounds heavier with everything being wet.

It was hard and I saw a lot of people quit. But I was able to tap into gratitude, intuition, and trusting faith and keep on walking. I beat my goal and then some. I even completed my first ever 20-mile day. And the only way this was possible was by letting go of my need for certainty and to just have faith.

Step Eight – Stop Comparing

Cultivate creativity by letting go of comparison.

Think back to when you were eight years old. I bet you loved being creative. I adored coloring, crafts, embroidery, photography, pottery, writing, dance, and I even created a better dewy decimal system for when I played library.

As I got older, all of those creative things I loved doing started to disappear one by one. After I graduated from college, I saw creativity as frivolous and a waste of time. I was an “adult” and it was time to do “adult” things.

But here’s the truth; we’re all creative. Either we use it or we stifle it. And I’ve learned that stifling our innate strengths and desires leads to anger, resentment, and hopelessness.

To unleash our inherent creativity, we must move past those things that stand in our way. We’ve covered many of these roadblocks already: worrying about what other people think, perfectionism, and fear. And comparison is just one more roadblock.

Our ability to compare can be a good thing when trying to buy the healthiest food for our family while grocery shopping. But comparison can turn ugly when we start comparing ourselves to others. It’s impossible to compare ourselves because we all have unique stories and experiences.

Here are some ideas to help you move beyond comparison.

  • Celebrate your accomplishments.
  • Create a smile file of awards and compliments.
  • Practice gratitude daily.
  • Write daily affirmations.
  • Commit to only comparing yourself to the person you were yesterday.

Step Nine – Rest

In step nine we’ll cultivate play and rest by letting go of the idea that our worth is tied to our accomplishments.

I know I’m not the only one who has fallen into the achievement trap. Many Americans work WAY TOO MUCH! When I worked in the corporate world, there were times I was forced to work 14+ hour days for more than three weeks straight. I will argue that this is unhealthy until the day I die. Yet I had colleagues who worked like this all the time. And those of us who refused were often shamed or threatened.

There are many reasons that we work this much. Our belief that our worthiness is tied to our accomplishments is just one of those reasons. So I’d like to share an epiphany I had one morning while journaling.

All that time I spent communing with nature the last few summers hasn’t been wasted nor frivolous. It’s been a time of healing and growth. It’s part of my story and all of the future work I’ll do. It didn’t put me behind, but exactly where I need to be.

If we don’t take time to care for our minds, bodies, and spirits, they won’t be here for us when we need them most. If we don’t stop and let ourselves heal, our bodies will eventually force us to. Taking time to stop and listen isn’t being lazy. Spending time in nature isn’t wasted. Rest is a natural part of life and ignoring it won’t help you be your best.

It’s during this downtime that I come up with some of my best and most popular content ideas. Our time away has helped us create our best life and has brought new ideas for our future. And more than anything, it’s helped me learn to love myself better.

Not taking time to rest is not only a disservice to yourself, but also your family, friends, coworkers, and every life you touch. Be sure and schedule downtime weekly and a few longer vacations at least twice a year. Ten, twenty, fifty years from now, you’ll be grateful you did.

– Me

Step Ten – Keep Calm

Cultivating calm and stillness by letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle.

As much as diet and exercise, getting good rest and reducing stress are vital to our health and longevity. As someone who is more of a naturally anxious person, I’ve had to work hard to make stillness part of my daily life.

For the last several years, I’ve made calm and stillness part of the first hour of my day. My current morning routine includes reading something that feeds my soul, followed by writing a couple of pages in my journal. Then I end my power hour with a quick meditation session.

If you need more calm in your life, would you consider taking a 30-day challenge? For the next 30 days, commit to setting aside at least five minutes a day to center and calm. I enjoy doing it first thing in the morning as it sets the tone for the rest of my day. Perhaps you may enjoy five minutes of quiet before you greet your family after a long workday, or before you drift off to sleep at night.

Commit to just 30 days for five minutes. If you find that benefits you, try ten minutes for the next 30-day period and let it grow from there.

Step Eleven – Find Meaning

In this step, we’ll focus on letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to” in order to cultivate meaningful work.

Growing up, I believed the purpose of work was to make money and be “successful.” It was what you were “supposed to” do. I was never told that I should find something that aligned with my skills and passions. Nor did I believe that work could be meaningful. So I went to college, took the job that offered the most money, and ended up miserable at “The Worst Company in America to Work For.”

Those expectations of what we’re “supposed to” do run deep in our families and culture. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a woman while I was traveling this past summer. She said, “That’s one of my biggest regrets in life. All three of my sons are very successful, but neither of my daughters work. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

I’m pretty sure she knew that I didn’t “work” either, but I didn’t take it personally. I responded by saying, “Many of us learn that our value lies in our achievements and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I believe that while we’re here, we should use our gifts and talents to serve and provide value. But that doesn’t mean a woman who makes it to the C suite is a better human than the woman (or man) who chooses to stay home and raise their family.”

Everyone’s work has value. I appreciate the person who clears the leaves from the stairs in the park as much as the person who oversees park maintenance. I value the person who harvested the beans that made my morning coffee as much as the guy who started the company that buys and roasts the beans and gets them to the store.

All jobs are important. It doesn’t matter what your parents, spouse, or high school best friend thinks you should do. What matters is that the work is meaningful to you.

Finding and creating meaningful work after a lifetime of “supposed to” isn’t something that happens overnight. And you don’t necessarily need to be employed or get paid for this work. Meaningful work can be a hobby, side project, volunteer effort, or it can mean taking the very best care of your household and family.

Step Twelve – Laugh Out Loud

My final step in my 12 step program to live more wholeheartedly was letting go of being cool and always in control by cultivating laughter, song, and dance.

Ugh, being in control is my love language you guys. Ain’t nobody got time for laughter, song, and dance …except this guy.

My husband, Jeremiah, leads with playful and it’s brought so much joy to our lives. These playful times are just as good for the soul as any of the prayer, meditation, and serious things we do.

So how do we create margin for more play in our lives? Here are a few suggestions.

1 – Switch up your daily routine.

Play seems to come more easily when I step away from the day-to-day. I loosen up when we’re on vacation or in the woods. But since being on a permanent vacation isn’t feasible and would likely lose its appeal, we need to look for other ways to switch it up.

Instead of sitting down to watch TV after dinner, go for a walk or play on the playground. Ride your bike or take public transit to work. Find little ways to switch up your routine that will inevitably invite more play into your life.

2 – Schedule downtime.

Just as I need to schedule time to work on specific projects each week, I need to schedule time to shut it all down. I try to schedule one day a week to let go and play. On a daily basis, I like to schedule an hour when I can do whatever I want. And then, of course, longer vacations are a great way to really let loose.

But if you’re anything like me, you need to schedule it or it won’t happen. This time we spend taking care of ourselves is just as important as any work-related activity.

3 – Tap into your inner child.

What did you love doing as a child but haven’t tried in years? GO DO THAT!

I loved playing outside, riding bike, and ice skating. I think a lot of us had things like this we loved to do. And then somewhere along the line, many of us lost touch with those things.

What brought Jer and I back to playing outside was getting serious about our finances. When we buckled down to pay off our mortgage, our lack of an entertainment budget forced us to do free things like hiking and biking. And cutting back on fancy vacations is what got us started on our camping journey.

When we take care of our own needs, we bring the best of ourselves to others. While much of what we think of as self-care can be serious work, this assignment got me thinking about the importance of play.

What will you go and try just like you’re a kid again?

Here are three more things that helped me become more wholehearted this year.

Step Thirteen – Talk about it

I had a lot of long meaningful chats with a friend on training hikes this past summer. It brought to surface a number of issues that were unknowingly holding me back. It fostered connection and helped me feel less alone. And it helped reinforce the healthy behaviors I was trying to adopt.

Step Fourteen – Get Outside

In Step Seven, I talked about cultivating trusting faith on a solo backpacking trip. The last few summers I’ve been learning just how important spending time in nature is for me. It’s made such a big difference in my life that I try to go into the woods every day I can. I believe that connecting with nature is something we could all benefit from.

Step Fifteen – Read

Wholehearted people are willing to let go of who they thought they were supposed to be in order to be who they are. – Brené Brown Click To Tweet

I read a lot of books, and this one stood out as particularly helpful on my journey to become more wholehearted. It’s about our search for wholeness and rediscovering our true selves. And as Richard Rohr writes, “You do not climb up to your True Self. You fall into it, so don’t avoid all falling.” I’d say that’s a pretty good summary of this year of wholehearted living.

Why should living wholeheartedly be important to you?

You are the key to healing this hurting and broken world. When you learn to fully love and accept yourself, you will finally be able to love others the way they need to be loved. This will, in turn, allow them to fully love and accept themselves and love others the way they need to be loved. It’s a ripple effect that all starts with you.

“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.”

– Brené Brown; Daring Greatly

You ARE worthy of love and belonging and my hope is that these 15 steps to wholehearted living will help you see that.

How to improve your financial health even if you’re broke

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There are few topics as personal and emotional as finances. I’ve witnessed some of the most intelligent people become sweaty and flustered at the mere mention of it. I’ve watched the calmest people I know fly off the handle while discussing the topic. Financial health seems to be one of those topics that people either love or loathe.

But what if I told you there were ways to improve your financial health that had nothing to do with money? Whether you’re a broke college student or a retiree with a multi-million-dollar portfolio, these seven tips will help you improve your financial health. And none of them have anything to do with saving, investing, or getting a raise.

7 Habits for Financial Health

1 – Be Grateful for Everything You Already Have

Have you ever given a gift to a child and they acted like it was the greatest thing they’ve ever received in their life? Maybe they said something like, “Thank you so much. This is exactly what I always wanted and I love it.” Then they followed up with a big bear hug and proceeded to show everyone else the gift they just received.

It’s one of the best feelings when someone shows gratitude for the gifts we give them. Whether it’s a thoughtful trinket or simply our time, being appreciated inspires us to give more.

I think the same is true for our bank accounts. When we show gratitude for everything we already have, we attract more. When we look at our situation with fear and resentment, we repel the abundance that’s trying to find us.

This isn’t just about your bank account. Express gratitude for all the goodness you have in your life. Be grateful for your good health, loving spouse, friends, and the sunshine because it’s all connected.

2 – Stop Comparing

I think it’s natural to compare ourselves to others. But just because it’s natural, doesn’t mean it’s helpful. We tend to be our own harshest critics which can interfere with our ability to appreciate what we already have. The other problem with comparing is that we never really know someone else’s full story. It’s easy to look past someone else’s everyday struggles and just focus on what’s going right for them.

Instead of comparing yourself with others, measure the progress you make daily. Look at how far you’ve come over the last week, year, and 10 years. That’s a much more effective way to measure your success.

3 – Stop Worrying About What Other People Think

Like comparing, I think it’s safe to say we all struggle with this from time to time. I’m not afraid to admit that I deal with this too. Especially when I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something for the first time like going live with my blog, selling my first ebook, and my first guest appearance on a podcast.

Remember that you’re probably harder on yourself than anyone else. You might be thinking, oh my gosh, I can’t believe I did that. While everyone else is thinking, wow, how brave.

Now consider how much time you spend thinking about other people. You’re probably so busy creating your own best life that you don’t have much time to think about what your neighbor, sister, or best friend are up to. The same is true for other people thinking about you. And that’s not to say we’re all self-centered, we just have a lot going on.

In 1928 the syndicated humorist Robert Quillen wrote: “Americanism: Using money you haven’t earned to buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like.” A little bit of humor and a whole lot of truth makes this one the most common personal finance quotes to this day. More recently, it’s been attributed to Will Rogers, Dave Ramsey, and the movie Fight Club. No matter who you give credit to, it’s a great example of how worrying about what other people think can damage our financial health.

Americanism: Using money you haven’t earned to buy things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like. — Robert Quillen Click To Tweet

4 – Stop Spending Money on Things that Don’t Bring You Joy

As we make our way through adulthood, it’s easy to fall into autopilot and plug away at what we think we’re supposed to do even if it’s not a good fit. Not everyone is cut out for college. It’s okay to not want to get married and have a family. And you don’t need to get a mortgage that’s four times your annual income. There are no rules for living your best life. You get to play by your own rules.

This starts by learning about what’s really important to you. For example, my health and my marriage come first. So if I had a high paying job that threatened either of those two areas, I could easily make a decision about what I had to do next. If you haven’t taken time to think about what you value most in your life, check out this link.

When it comes to money, only spend on things that bring you joy. This is different for everyone and that’s wonderful. My husband, Jer, and I will probably never have a beautifully decorated home because we would rather be out on adventures than sitting in said home. I’m more likely to buy a new tent than a new sofa. But I know lots of people who love to entertain and invest in their homes. And that’s just as wonderful because I love it when they invite me over for fancy dinners.

5 – Let Go of Fear and Scarcity

Work to cultivate an abundance mindset. This is another thing that’s hard for so many of us because it’s rooted in some of our earliest experiences with money. If you grew up in a family that believed that the little guy can’t get ahead or that everyone’s out to screw you over, you’re more likely to hold onto what you have more tightly. The problem is that when your fist is so tightly clenched holding your dollar, there’s no space for another dollar to slip in.

Scarcity comes from believing that there’s a fixed amount of something: time, money, love, or anything else we value. We falsely believe that when someone gets a $10,000 raise, there’s $10,000 less to go around. That’s simply not how it works. You can learn more about this concept in this post. I hope it inspires you to live with less fear and more abundance.

6 – Practice Personal Accountability

In most cases, you’re in the financial situation you’re in because of your choices. So be careful not to blame and make excuses. The government isn’t great at handling money, but your current situation is not the government’s fault. Nor are your parents, spouse, or employer to blame. You are where you are because of the decisions you made.

But guess what? You can choose to make different choices and you can start today. Take your power back and practice personal accountability.

Your success as a family… our success as a nation… depends not on what happens inside the White House, but on what happens inside your house. ― Barbara Bush Click To Tweet

7 – Educate Yourself

Financial literacy is not taught in most schools. So unless you grew up with parents or mentors who taught you how to manage your resources, you probably didn’t enter adulthood knowing a lot. If you want things to be different you need to educate yourself. The great news is that there are a plethora of resources available to you.

Since you’re here, you might as well start with my blog. One of my favorite pieces of content is The Surprising Benefits of Financial Freedom. It’s an inspiring post that shows you once again that financial health is about more than money.

Download and listen to podcasts on the topic. Here’s a great episode for beginners and enthusiasts alike.

Check out TED Talks or other inspiring videos online. Here’s one of my favorites. When you’re finished you can use the search tool to find more.

Once you’re feeling inspired, dig a little deeper by reading or listening to good books. Choose at least three different authors so you can take their knowledge and create a plan that works for you. I’ve read a lot of personal finance books and have yet to find one I agree with 100 percent.

Here are some of my favorite books in the order I suggest reading them.

Total Money Makeover

Rich Dad Poor Dad

You Are a Badass at Making Money

The Next Millionaire Next Door

Thou Shall Prosper

Get added accountability by attending classes and seminars. Check Facebook for local events, search meetup.com, or see what local churches and civic groups have to offer. Perhaps you’re one of the lucky few whose employer offers financial fitness as a part of your benefits package. Check with your HR department and if it’s not available, get to work selling them on the benefits.

Last but not least, consider working with a personal coach. If you’re overwhelmed and don’t know what to do first, a coach can help you prioritize based on your values and personal goals. You can check out my coaching packages here.

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Improving your financial health is important. There will come a time when each of us will no longer be able to work and will depend on what we set aside when we were younger. Not only that, our financial health spills into every other corner of our lives. It can affect our physical health if we’re constantly stressed about making ends meet. It destroys marriages when both parties aren’t on the same page with their values and goals. But our financial health is not something we’re destined to fall victim to. It’s something we have the power to change.

Take action!

Knowledge is only part of the equation. Things really start to change when put that knowledge to work. Pick one thing from the list and start implementing it in your life today.

What other ways have you improved your financial health? Share in the comments below or come start a conversation on Facebook.

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Why right now is the best time to slow down and enjoy life

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The last few months I’ve been writing a lot about travel and taking time to slow down and enjoy life. But to be honest, up until a couple of years ago, I wasn’t very good at this myself. I grew up believing that my value as a person was tied to my achievements and productivity. Add to that a natural propensity towards perfectionism and, even though I love to travel, I felt guilty when I wasn’t being “productive.”

Then one day last summer all of that changed. As I wrote in my journal on a rainy Tuesday morning, I had an epiphany. I realized that all of this time I’d spent traveling and being in nature wasn’t wasted nor frivolous. It’s been a time of immense healing and growth. It’s been a time of clarity and creativity. It’s part of my story. It’s who I am, what I’m becoming, and part of everything I’ll create in the future.

I’m not suggesting that we should all quit working and live a life of leisure. I’d go as far as to say that leisure isn’t the key to living a life of joy and meaning. But I believe that it’s essential to make time to care for our minds, bodies, and spirits regularly. Taking time to slow down and enjoy life isn’t being lazy. It’s the natural rhythm of life and neglecting it isn’t helpful.

I wrote the following post as I was preparing to embark on my solo tour to visit every Minnesota State Park a couple of summers ago. While I’ve changed a lot over the last two years, what I wrote is still relevant to this always-connected-insta-perfect world we live in. I added additional commentary at the end that I hope will inspire you to make time to enjoy the little things this summer.

Are you making time to enjoy the life you’ve created? Or do you often lose sight of everything you already have while working on your next big goal?

Maybe you’ve built some wealth but have a hard time spending any of it. Perhaps you built some freedom into your schedule but continue with your workaholic ways. Or maybe you have that incredible family you’ve always dreamed of but are too busy working to truly cherish them.

It’s easy to get sucked into our daily tasks and go-go-go from sunup to sundown. Try an experiment tomorrow. Go ask 10 people how they’ve been. I bet half of them will mention something about being busy. It’s become our way of life.

Being engaged in life and having meaningful work is important. And having goals and dreams we’re looking forward to is a good thing. But so many of us struggle to find the balance between achieving and enjoying the present moment.

When I worked in the corporate world, we never had the opportunity to go camping until after Labor Day. And even after we created more freedom in our lives, we stayed stuck in this pattern. Then one day I realized that we already had the freedom we were working so hard to create but were failing to enjoy it. That’s when I decided to spend most of what was left of my summer hanging out in my tent.

Here’s the thing. I don’t know about you but I receive constant reminders of the brevity of life. I plan to live well into my hundreds, but none of us really know which day will be our last. I would be pretty upset if I found out that tomorrow was my last day and I never took time to enjoy my life.

The Angel of Death comes to you and says, “Come, it’s time to go.” You say, “But no. You’re supposed to give me a warning so I can decide what I want to do with my last week. I’m supposed to get one more week.” Do you know what Death will say to you? He’ll say, “My God! I gave you fifty-two weeks this past year alone. Why would you need one more? What did you do with all those?” If asked that, what are you going to say? How will you answer? “I wasn’t paying attention… I didn’t think it mattered.” That’s a pretty amazing thing to say about your life.

Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul

I don’t believe that we were put on this earth to be miserable, pay bills, and die. We’re here to create value and enjoy life. When we find that balance, we become happier people. When we become happier, we become kinder. And when we all become kinder, the world becomes a better place.

It’s been nearly two years since I wrote the above post and I feel even more strongly about this message today. I just returned from a short solo trip up north and was reminded how slowing down can bring clarity, creativity, and healing to your life. And those three things are just as (if not more) valuable than any achievement.

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether be a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success.

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’d love to hear from you. How do you find time to slow down and enjoy life? Share in the comments below or come let me know on Facebook.

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How to plan a memorable vacation on a small budget

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Have you been dreaming of a family vacation but worry that you can’t budget for travel right now? Or maybe you can’t stand the thought of spending a small fortune on one of those readymade vacation packages. Either way, you’re in luck. In this post, I share my five best tips for planning a memorable vacation on any budget.

According to The Wall Street Journal, Americans are wasting over $52 BILLION each year by not using all of their vacation time. There are many reasons people don’t take vacations. Some feel like they can’t take more than a day or two away from work because of their workload or responsibilities. Others feel like they have no room in their budget to travel. Or maybe it simply comes down to not having the time to plan your next trip.

While all of these reasons are valid, there are even better reasons to make that vacation happen. Vacations are a great opportunity to reset, find ourselves, and create peace and joy in our lives. These experiences improve our performance at work. And more importantly, they improve our marriages, families, and other relationships.

Relax, refresh, and have fun. Posing at the highest waterfall in Minnesota. Tettegouche State Park
Relax, refresh, and have fun. My husband, Jer, posing at the highest waterfall in Minnesota in Tettegouche State Park.

But what about the cost?

When we dream about vacation, it’s easy to fantasize about springtime in Paris, a hike to Machu Pichu, or a romantic getaway to the South Pacific. But in reality, we can experience the same benefits without traveling thousands of miles and spending a small fortune. Some of my most memorable adventures have been a short drive and just a few nights.

One of these memorable places is Lake Superior’s North Shore. Less than a three-hour drive from Minneapolis and you’re on scenic Highway 61 that covers 151 miles of natural perfection. This is an artist’s dream, with plenty of inspiration for writers, photographers, painters, and sculptors alike. Outdoor enthusiasts won’t be disappointed with ample opportunities for hiking, canoeing, fishing, cycling, camping, and rock-climbing.

Wherever you’re headed, there’s likely the option to travel as frugally or lavishly as you wish. You can pitch a tent and camp for less than $20 per night or enjoy fine dining and spa treatments at high-end resorts. Whichever you choose, there are many ways to make sure your trip is memorable. Here are five ways we keep it fresh whether we’re traveling close to home or exploring a new country.

Slow down and enjoy each moment. My beloved Cascade River State Park.
Slow down and enjoy the simple things like my favorite waterfall at Cascade River State Park.

FIVE WAYS TO CREATE MEMORABLE ADVENTURES ON ANY BUDGET

1 – STAY SOMEWHERE DIFFERENT

You know that gorgeous campsite with sweeping views of Lake Superior? And that perfect little hotel with miles of undeveloped coastline? It would be really easy to keep going back to those spots year after year. But new locations create excitement and anticipation. These new experiences expand your view of the world and encourage self-discovery.

Next time you’re planning a trip, challenge yourself to stay somewhere new. Try an Airbnb instead of a hotel. Check out the camper cabins in state parks and national forests. Or stay on a farm, in a treehouse, and don’t forget about hostels. There are so many excellent options and each is guaranteed to be an exciting new experience.

Get up early and watch the sun rise. Sunrise from our campsite at Tettegouche State Park.
Sunrise from our campsite at Tettegouche State Park.

2 – TRY SOMETHING NEW

Most of the things I love doing today weren’t on my radar 20 years ago. The idea of sleeping in a tent in pouring rain sounded miserable. Paddling a canoe 20+ miles into the wilderness seemed terrifying and dangerous. And a 90-mile hike … was that even possible?

Little by little, we tried more new things. We invested time in the activities we loved and dropped the ones we didn’t. I’m grateful that I found the courage to step past my comfort zone and find new hobbies I’m deeply passionate about. You’ll never really know what you’ll like until you give it a try.

Try something new as often as you can. Hiking the frozen Caribou Falls during our last stay at Bluefin Bay.
Try something new as often as you can. Hiking the frozen Caribou Falls during an anniversary trip to the North Shore.

3 – GO EXPLORE

I know lots of families who take a vacation to the same resort every summer. I think that’s awesome and a wonderful way to connect and create memories.

If you’re one of these lucky people, you can still make each vacation a new adventure. I challenge you to do a little research and find new places you’ve never been to. I promise you they’re out there.

I traveled around the entire state of Minnesota the previous two summers visiting every state park. After I finished, I started noticing other amazing places I missed along the way. No matter where you’re going, I know you can find somewhere new to explore.

Take risks. Cross a bridge that is held up by two ropes tied to a tree. Split Rock River Loop - Superior Hiking Trail
Step out of your comfort zone and cross a bridge that’s held up by ropes tied to a tree. Sadly this crooked bridge over the Split Rock River is no longer standing.

4 – MAKE THE BEST OF THE UNEXPECTED

Not everything goes as planned. Sometimes it rains the entire trip. We’ve had snow while camping in September. And then there was that time something (a fox, bear, or wolf) ate one of my shoes while camping in the middle of nowhere.

Don’t let these moments dampen your fun. If it won’t stop raining, go for a drive, pick up a new book, visit a museum, or cuddle up with some hot cocoa and listen to the rain. If you’re someone who likes to go, go, go, savor these opportunities to rest and restore.

Get the most out of life through new experiences. Skiing the icy Sugarbush Trail.
Get the most out of life through new experiences like skiing the icy Sugarbush Trail.

5 – ENJOY LIFE’S SIMPLE PLEASURES

Some of the best things in life are the little things we often miss in our day to day lives. Get up early and watch the sunrise. Head to the beach and listen to the waves. Go for a hike and enjoy a picnic at the highest peak and soak in the view. Or take a moonlight swim in the warm summer air. Slow down and take pleasure in the little things we often miss.

Pay attention to the changes around you. Enjoying calm seas before dawn while camping at Split Rock Lighthouse State Park.
Enjoying the little things like calm seas before dawn at Split Rock Lighthouse State Park.

You don’t have to travel to the other side of the world or spend your life savings to have an incredible vacation. Find the courage to leave your comfort zone and try something new. Whatever you do, use those vacation days and live your best life!

How do you ensure you use all of your vacation days? Comment below or come share your best tips on Facebook.

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Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in March of 2016. It has been completely revamped for accuracy, comprehensiveness, and readability. Please enjoy and feel free to share this newly revised content.

5 Ways to Bring That Vacation Feeling Home

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Have you ever felt a little depressed after a long-awaited vacation came to an end? You saved money, planned, and anticipated for months. Then just like that, it’s all over. But what if I told you that you could bring that vacation feeling home?

Sure, it won’t be exactly the same as running down a deserted beach, listening to the waves, and watching whales breach. You probably won’t spend every evening sipping margaritas while watching the sunset. You’ll also go back to meetings, errands, and cleaning your own bathroom. But that doesn’t mean you can’t bring the feeling home and make it part of your daily life.

Earlier this year my husband, Jeremiah, and I enjoyed an epic adventure on Mexico’s Pacific Coast to celebrate our fifteenth wedding anniversary. This trip inspired a series of posts about why you need to make travel part of your life and how to make it happen. So far I covered:

As I’ve been writing these articles and sharing photos on Instagram, I often found myself feeling a bit blue. Then I’d remind myself that there are no endings, only beginnings. When one good thing comes to an end, it makes space for even better things to start brewing.

View this post on Instagram

And with this post, our time in Mexico comes to an end. It’s kind of sad when good things come to an end. But what if it’s not really the end, but the beginning of a new adventure? . When we flew home from our Hawaiian wedding 15 years ago, I was heart broken. I wanted to stay there forever. It feels like home because that’s where we became #hollyandjer. But looking back I can see that ending that adventure made way for so many more. Each time we became a little more brave and our adventures get better each time. . I really didn’t want to leave 82 degree Mexico to go back to 32 degree Minnesota. But I knew that in doing so, the next adventure could start to take shape. It’s not the end but a new beginning. . What helps you when good things come to an end? . . . #newbeginnings #dawn #newday #newadventures #happyendings #loveyourwholelife #notallwhowanderarelost #theroadlesstraveled #travel #gypsysoul #visitmexico #jalisco #puertovallarta #conchaschinas #journal

A post shared by Holly Scherer (@hollyscherer) on

These moments of longing inspired me to think about how we can bring that vacation feeling home and make it part of our daily lives. I’ll share some of my tips below, but there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

To create a post-vacation strategy that’s best for you, spend some time reflecting on the following questions.

  • What is it about vacation that invigorates you and makes you come alive?
  • How do those activities make you feel?
  • How can you replicate those feelings at home?

For example, I can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning while I’m on vacation. I’m up before the sun without having to set an alarm. I can’t wait to go explore and see things I’ve never seen and try foods I’ve never tried. I can’t wait to challenge myself to step outside my comfort zone by testing my language skills and finding my way around. I love how the most basic things become an epic adventure.

The feelings I get are excitement, joy, gratitude, satisfaction, love, and hope. I can create these feelings at home by writing down what I’m most looking forward to each morning in my journal. I could express gratitude for all the little things in my life that bring me joy like a sunshiny day and a delicious meal. I should challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone and say yes to things that excite me while saying no to things that drain me. And I’ll set aside time each day to connect with my spouse and discuss our dreams for the future.

I’d love to hear what you come up with. You can share it in the comments below or come say hi on Facebook.

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Here are five other ideas to help you bring that vacation feeling home.

Be a tourist in your own town.

We don’t do it often enough, but when Jer and I decide to go out, we make a day out of it. This past Valentine’s Day we ran a couple of errands and went out for lunch. We followed that up with a trip to The Science Museum, followed by a couple of craft beers. We then went out for dinner and stopped for one more beer. It was like being on vacation, without the planning and expensive flight.

Make dinner a big deal.

We all have to eat and most of us have at least one meal a day at home. Instead of turning on the TV or retreating to separate rooms, make dinner (or breakfast) a time to connect. Light candles and break out the good silver and china. Dine alfresco or head to the park for a picnic. Consider learning how to prepare your favorite foods from your trip. It’s a fun way to connect and will give you something to look forward to.

Be intentional about how you start your day.

Be honest, do you start your day in panic mode, just trying to get to work on time? That’s exactly how I spent the first 34 years of my life. Then I decided that I wanted my life to be different so I started getting up early every morning to work out. Later I added gratitude journaling. And today I have a system that sets me up to have a great day.

Decide what an impactful morning would look like to you and pick one thing to start tomorrow. Set your alarm 30 minutes earlier, then get up and actually do it. When that becomes a habit, add the next thing. When we start our day with intention instead of defaulting to reaction mode, it’s easier to bring those feelings of excitement, joy, and hope into our daily lives.

Have something to look forward to.

I mentioned this earlier, but it bears repeating. Having something to look forward to is a big deal. There are studies that suggest that people are happier leading up to their trip than while they’re actually on it.

You don’t have to be planning your next epic adventure to take advantage of this. Think of the little things you look forward to throughout the day and week.

I really love my writing days when I get to create new content. I also enjoy cooking while listening to podcasts and audiobooks. I cherish my morning routine, spending time with my spouse, reading, connecting with friends and meeting new people. One of the ways I make this part of my everyday life is by writing what I’m most looking forward to in my journal each morning.

What daily activities do you look forward to?

Of course, it’s never too early to start planning your next adventure. I’m writing this in April of 2019 and am already thinking about the adventures we’ll pursue in 2020. Go ahead and start dreaming and planning.

Make time to do the things you love.

I’ll be the first to admit I need to get better at this. The truth is that there will never be a shortage of things we should do. Even if you could magically get it all done, you’d probably find more things to do. Rather than always rushing to your next goal, take some time to slow down and enjoy the journey. Stop the glorification of busy and start investing time in the things that are important to you … every day, not just on vacation.

I’m sure you’re aware that what gets scheduled gets done. So take some time to schedule one or two of these activities throughout your week. Block off time just as you would an important meeting because let’s be honest, there’s no meeting as important as the feeling you get from a life well lived.

What are your best tips to bring that vacation feeling home? Share in the comments below or come chat with me on Facebook.

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