Could we resolve to stop yelling at each other already?
What is going on in this country? There has never been a better time in history with more opportunity. We have never had more safety and security than we do today. We have so much to be grateful for. Why is everyone so pissed off?We have so much to be grateful for. Why is everyone so pissed off? Click To Tweet
I feel like we are losing the ability to see anyone’s perspective but our own. When people don’t align with these expectations, we think it’s okay to scream at them. We knock them down with insults. We publicly disparage them.
Sometimes it’s behind the mask of the internet, but often it’s in public, to people we don’t even know. When did this become okay?
I get it. We all have bad days. I’ve been known to have a meltdown or two. But it’s out of hand and we must collectively resolve to fix this.
Stop Yelling at Me!
My husband, Jer, and I love cycling. We live in the only American city to make the list of best bike cities in the world. With hundreds of miles of trails and bike lanes, it’s an urban cyclist’s paradise.
Yet sometimes I feel I have nowhere to ride. The bike paths have speed limits and it’s a guarantee that some cranky old man is going to yell at you to slow down if you get close to it. There are roads that I love riding, but there’s hostility there too.
Half the time when I ride on the road, I am road raged by men in cars. My code of conduct prohibits me from publishing the words these guys call me, so you’ll have to use your imagination. One guy actually hit me this past summer after yelling every obscenity in the book at me. What is going on?
It’s not just me!
It’s not just bikes versus cars. I found this year’s presidential campaign to be downright embarrassing. The behavior of the candidates was unacceptable. But what really got me was how people were treating their friends, family, and strangers who they disagreed with. It was painful to watch people I liked be so disrespectful to others.It was painful to watch people I liked be so disrespectful to others. Click To Tweet
This lack of respect didn’t happen overnight. Over the last several years I’ve witnessed people shame and humiliate family members for giving them the wrong gift for Christmas. When did we lose our ability to be content and grateful?
We all know people who have walked away from friendships over misunderstandings. We’ve heard people gossip and find joy in the struggles of others. We’ve all met people complain incessantly about the life choices of others. When did we earn the right to judge everyone around us?
But it’s not everyone.
To be fair, it’s not everyone. Most people are quite pleasant. But the ones who are screaming are creating friction we could do without.
Words hurt and create a ripple of anger and fear. Think about the last time you were criticized. You may have received 24 compliments before that, but what did you remember? The criticism, right?
When we don’t sort through those emotions, they wreak havoc on our lives and the lives of others. For example, imagine that your boss gets in a fight with his wife before work and calls you into his office to tear down the project you’ve been working on. Stressed and frustrated, you snap at a co-worker, who snaps at her waitress at lunch, who snaps at her kid, who gets in a fight at school … It’s a ripple and we have the power to make it stop.Words hurt and create a ripple effect of anger and fear. Click To Tweet
All of this anger and yelling doesn’t solve ANYTHING! Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still. The only way to change someone’s mind is to lead by example.
Our Collective Resolution
Every human being is one of a kind, born with unique talents. We all view the world through a unique lens. Each of us has had a unique life experience. All of this comes together to create our unique values and opinions.
Could we resolve to accept this? Could we learn to engage instead of argue? Could we make an effort to listen instead of yell? Could we resolve to be open to learning something new?Could we resolve to be open to learning something new? Click To Tweet
Together We Can
Here are some ideas on how we can make this resolution work.
- Lead by example.
- If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
- If you are upset by the other person’s opinion, count to ten before responding.
- Refuse to engage with people who fly off the handle.
- Listen with the goal of understanding instead of replying.
- Remember that you are not the judge.
- THINK before you speak. Ask yourself, if it’s:
There are more things that connect us than divide us. Let’s embrace our commonality. Let’s learn to communicate with kindness and respect. Let’s make a resolution to learn instead of judge. And let’s stop yelling!There are more things that connect us than divide us. Let’s embrace our commonality. Click To Tweet
PS – It’s my birthday and the only thing I want is for this message to spread. If you agree, would you please share it?
Wishing you an amazing New Year!
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